My Birthday Gift for HANDSOME BOY DES

12/22/12
Jet Lag - Simple Plan ft Natasha Beddingfield

Maiba Naman.

Sige, dahil puro kabitteran naisusulat ko. Jokes naman muna.

Tenentenenten tennn! (oi kinanta niya)

                                          ZE SISTER, MOTHER AND ME @ BKK Circa 2010

Berts: Mommy? pano pag nagpakilala ulit ako ng lalaki???
Mom: It's about time!!!(british accent)
Berts: ahh? bwahahah!!! Pano kung girl ulit?
Mom: sabi mo nga not everything is FOREVER. People change? (ngongo accent)
Berts: So pabor ka sa lalaki???
Mom: It's your choice(british accent).........................

*superfunnehMOMMYmoments

                                     My younger sister Attty. Pixie beth N. Veranga LLB

Ate; Jul? san nag law school si Pixie?
Berts: Sa U.P.?
Ate: OO, pero sang branch?
Berts: Baguio???
Ate: U.P. SILIMAN! ha ha haaaa!  XD

*ateeeehhh!!! GAHHH!!!!

--------------
Q: Ano ang sabi ng bangus nang mamamatay na siya.
A: I'm daing!
--------------
Q: Ano ang sabi ng isda nang hiwain siya sa gitna?
A: I'm tuna
--------------
Q: Ano ang tawag kapag sinuot mo ang kanang sapatos sa
kaliwang paa at ang kaliwang sapatos sa kanang paa?
A: Malicious
---------------
Q: What's the difference between a kiss, a car, and a
monkey
A: A kiss is so dear, a car is for you dear, a monkey
is you my dear.
---------------
Q: What will happen to a wooden car with a wooden
wheel and a wooden engine?
A: It wooden start.
--------------------------
1) KNOW the movie "MULAN?" Part four na yon! First
episode nun "Mulog," then "Midlat," Tapos "Mambon,"
saka pa lang "Mulan" Coming soon na ang "Magyo," Next
ang "Maha," finally "Maraw"... ak magkanapos nyun,
ngongo kha nha yin!!!
---------------------
2) Dear Itay,
Padalhan mo ako ng pera kasi ang mga damit ko
pinagkakain ng mga daga.
Dear Anak,
Wala akongpera. Kung gusto mo, meron dito pusa.
---------------------
3) Isang babae bumili ng asukal. Inabot ng tindera,
pero sabi ng babae,"Miss, asin itong binigay mo sa
akin."

Hindi, asukal yan. Minarkahan lang naming"Asin" para
hindi langgamin.
----------------------
Ngongo dictionary:
CATTLE - dun nakatira ang printeta at printipe
MELT - yun ang sinusuot sa mewang
EFFORT - dun nag-la-land ang efflane
STATUE - ikaw ba yan?
-----------------------
ANAK: ' Tay ! , anong pagkakaiba ng Supper at Dinner?
ITAY: Anak, pag kumain tayo sa labas, Dinner 'yun. Pag
dito tayo kakain ng luto ng Mommy mo,
Suffer yon!!
--------------------
M'AM: Inday, sa susunod, ayokong pinakikialaman mo ang
condom namin ng Sir mo!
INDAY: M'am, hwag kayong magbibintang! Di kami sanay
ni Sir gumamit niyan! Sobra kayo!
----------------
MRS: Lolokohin ko mister ko. Magpapanggap akong
pick-up girl.
Pagkita kay Mister: Hi Pogi! AVAILABLE ako ngayon....
MR: Ayoko sa yo!! Kamukha mo misis ko!!
----------------
MR: Doc, duwag ako magpabunot ng ngipin.
DR: No problem, eto whiskey, uminom ka!
Mister, uminom ng whiskey)
DR: O, matapang ka na ba?
MR: Oo Doc, pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko gugulpihinko!
----------------
WHEN I was lost you were there,
When I was down you were there.
When I was heartbroken you were there.
When I got really sick you were there.
ABA , hindi kaya ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko?
----------------
A Filipino lady was taking the exam for US
naturalization and citizenship.
She aced the test. The examiner said, "Now, the last
part of the exam is a vocabulary test. Can you spell
the word 'Window?"

The lady said, "W-I-N-D-O-W.";

"Ah, very good,", the examiner said. "Now, use it in a
sentence."

"WINDOW I get my citizenship papers?"
------------------
Anong saging ang mataba? SABA
Anong saging ang maliit? SENYORITA
Yung sinusubo pati balat?.. T? sirit na?
Esep..esep..!
Ano pa eh di TURON!!! Huwag esep sama!
------------------
Pulis: Bayad ko sa kape, o.
Chinese: Aba , aftah 25 years, bakit ka bayad?
Pulis: Utos ni Chief, wala nang kotong.
Chinese: Aba sige, simula ngayon hindi na ako dura sa
kape mo.
-----------------
Mare 1: Naku mare, ang gaganda ng mga anak mo!
Mare 2: Talaga, mare! Hay naku kung asawa ko lang ang
aasahan ko hindi mangyayari yan!
-----------------
Wife: Pag may problema ko, kahit gaano
kabigat,nawawala kapag nakikita ko ang picture mo.
Husband: Sabi ko na nga ba talagang mahal na mahal mo
ko.
Wife: Tinitingnan ko lang ang picture mo tapos
sinasabi ko sasarili ko na WALA NG PROBLEMA NA MAS
HIHIGIT PA DITO.
----------------
Anak: 'Nay, puede na ba akong magbra? Nay, kinse na po
ako, puede na ba?
Ina : Hoy! Joselito! Tigilan mo nga ako!!!!

Thanks to you Vinton Cerf.

Continuation to my ASAN KA NA CAMILLE DE VILLA SANO entry.

I googled(it's a word) the above stated name. :)))

I found out that she studied Psychology at MSU-Iligan City. Mailed their registrars office. Unfortunately, I did not receive a REPLY! MY GOSH GOLLY BANANA! Those admin officers. *kakagalit. Then a friend told me that there's this MSU - Iligan Facebook group. I joined the group and one student replied Camille's link.

OMG! Akala ko dead kid yung childhood friend ko for not having an FB account, yun pala unsearchable. NAMAN KASI BERTING! Messaged her immediately.

So yeaaahh! I found her. We are connected, AGAIN!

END.

My Attempts: Coming Out

2004 DECEMBER

My sister went to KSA for Chritmas vacation. She happened to sleep in my room and tabi kami sa single bed ko. I was about to tell her that I am in a weird relationship with my first love. But I was really afraid and scared. Plus I wasn't that sure back then. :))

Berts: Ate?
Sister: Baket?
Berts: Ah wala. Sarap ng shawarma noh! XD

2005 Probably SEPTEMBER
After watching an MMK episode with mom. The one with Fanny Serrano in it - Vinn Santiago Story.

Berts: Mommy, bakla din ako........ huhuhuh!
Mom: E paputol ka na rin!
Berts: (hee..heee...)

2011 APRIL
In SG, Diageo Bar with my sister's friends. I think I was already drunk when she came in late. So she wanted to catch up.

Sister: OHH! Go Straight!
Ate Chel: OK! STRAIGHT!!!!
Berts: WAIT! Hindi ako straight!
*LOL*  Alcohol is needed for extra courage.

SUDDEN BURST OF HAPPINESS

Pre-fireWORKS! XD

2012 MARCH 2
This was my coming out entry SANA. After writing it, I immediately called my sister

Berts: Ate? Busy ka ba?
Sister: Bakit ka umiiyak??
Berts: I am so sorryyy.. *sobs
Sister: Anung problema? Sinong umaway sayo?!?!?
Berts: Ate TOMBOY ako... *sobs #*fireworks
Sister: Jul, matagal ko nang alam, hindi ka lang nagsasabi, wag ka nga umiyak! para kang baboy!

BOOOOM!

Mom: Nabasa ko na yung blog mo.
Berts: I am soryyy kung nadisappoint ka.....
Mom: Tanggap naman kita anak. Wag ka umiyak. Pakatatag ka.

BOOOOOM! BOOOM!

Dad: Kindly delete that lonely blog... blah blah blah........ garments blah blah flowery unicorns and poof whatever daw :)) And yun...

Ate Joy: No need to explain. I love you jbeth!

Friend: AMEN! Welcome to the family!

ANG SAYUH SAYUHHH!

I Guess I'll Never Love Again.

I am good at pushing people. I am persuasive. I am convincing, but when it comes to my self I can't be pushed. Maybe I want someone like me for now or maybe someone like her. 

For some, running away from this kind of love is bravery. I thought its cowardish. Cause society thinks the normal cycle would be a boy+girl. I am trying to understand every angle every motive. So that makes me a masochist.

I am a masochist. Apparently my feelings are constant. I over think. I get stressed on my own. Cause this kind of love saw my best and worst; stayed at your most beautiful and ugliest good bye. We listened to our irrational and dumbest babble. We sit for hours of silence. You can't blame me. 

I know I could never ever fall the way I fell for her. 

I guess I'll never love again. 

When It Was Still Me

I hugged you close to me. I can still remember how you baby talk and said "I love you". That night we talked about our future, to reside somewhere else but Manila. We talked as if we know what's ahead of us. That we would stay indefinitely and unconditionally. I managed to pull a joke that I should be the housewife. We would cuddle together and I told you that I will love you everyday. We talked about having five dogs or perhaps we could adopt. We talked about your family, how they could disown you. But I made you feel that they won't be mad for long. It will get better. We talked about cars. We talked about anything and everything.

It was always, You + Me = WE.

Suddenly, our future went blur. We were happy. Cause you let them in our world that made me disappear completely. I guess your phase has an expiration. I thought we were magic. 

My lips kissed your forehead, from there we feel each others breath. We chose to laze around my couch and watch dvds instead of partying and getting wasted. I feel so blessed and contented having just YOU beside me. 

I thought I can plan and share all of me. 

And it all happened probably a thousand days ago. When it was still me. 

UAE FRIENDS

HELLOOOO UAE FRIENDS! 

I just had a call from +971508393721 from a certain Mohammad Ikbal and I was informed that I won blah blah 500,000 AED in the National Prize Draw from Etisalat. He sound scripted and couldn't understand much of his accent, maybe he's Indian, IDK. He also asked me to verify/check my sim card's SN and call him back for prize details. But I checked online first for such raffle draw and saw its a scam. ALL SCAM! So please don't give anyone such details related to money and all sorts that are personal to you. 


Have a blessed Holiday! :) KEEP SAFE!


Berts 

Doin the friendster thing. Testimonial?

                  Pa-shy effect pa. Hindi naman BOLD. XD (Verangaling Mansion Circa  95')

Patricia(L). Yes, she's my bish(best) friend ever since senior casa. When we were that young I always tell my cousin about her and how our day went. She's my side kick. She's my Piglet, my Patrick star, my Robin.

FYI. When my cousin had her first baby girl, she named her PATRICIA. :))

My Bish has this cold features. That nowadays I really admire. haha! Like she may find your joke funny but if she doesn't like you, she will not laugh. Wicked! But she likes and loves me. So she laughs at some of my jokes. SOME.

"Wag ka na lang masyado mag expect para chill lang" her answer to my infant management problem.

Cold. Simple. Right timing. Right words. Not disappointing. On your side. EXACT!

                                                      My reply to my bish pren.

Now that I am here in UAE, we became more closer. :) Thanks to Mr. Zuckerman(Facebook).

I regret not telling her everything my mind wanders, I was afraid to be rejected. I was scared that she won't at least reciprocate what I am feeling and expecting. I was tired of being down. I hated the world and I can't be a monster to a person like her. I mean I can't afford to look down at myself.

Plus that fact that I've always knew what to do and not to do, but my feelings sometimes are taking control of me. SHE listened to every rant, blob and problems I say. She comforts me with words that I really want to hear. I felt like she also wanted to kill for me. I felt that she was my attorney. I felt loved in a different way. I felt like she was hurting too when I was so down and I feel grateful to have her.

                                  Way back 2001, Grade School Graduation :) *sooo payat

She's as cold as ice, but she says warm words that calms my heart. She may not be affectionate like others but she's always unconditional to me. She listens, She understands. Therefore, my bish friend is a VAMPIRE  and I Infinitely love her.

I asked her to bite this afternoon so that I could be a little heartless. LOL.

Paki LBC na lang Bish yung kagat mo* Explain! :)))

We love dogs pala! teeeee heeee heee...

Affect na affect ako. Pramis.

Dear GOD. Thank you for letting me have someone like her who refuse to walk away from my life.

I am contented.

Disclaimer: THIS IS A RANT

I saw my college write up as I was deleting unecessary files on my HARD drive. 

Written by ex. Color PINK.

A person with a big heart is a perfect way to describe someone like JULY. Anyone can be surprised by immeasurable magnitude of her genuine character. A future marketer who wants to follow the footsteps of Ned Roberto “Langhap Katips”. She’s a type of person who’s expert in making everybody happy. July would never let a day pass without cracking the corniest joke that everybody loves and leaving an illuminating smile. July's punchlines and endless jokes will surely knock anyone out. Her endearing personality makes her appealing. She has the child-like spirit housed in her mature being that is both affectionate and appreciative qualities that endear her greatly to the people she encounters. She pours out her heart to all the things she does whether it may be in the classroom setting to the basketball game competitions she plays in the court. Her intense determination is a trait most cherished by the people around her. She's a person who is admired and loved by all.

Should I now be kilig? OK. 


WALA PA RIN KAMING YEARBOOK!

 

When You're Lonely and You Know it.

                                                                          WARNING

THESE VIDEOS ARE SUPER FUNNY. WATCH OUT FOR MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS.

Betty's Cakes Way Back.

I think this was my first cake decoration. Jeribelle is my teacher's daughter way back in HS. This is one of my mother's first sales. - Kingdom of Saudi Arabia Circa 2003 or 2004 :))

Look at my dashing hair style! Xi Men(Meteor Garden) ang peg ko jan. :)) I don't know kung kaninong cake yung dine design ko. hihihih.

WHATTA FES BERTING! 

End product. When we were in KSA, UBE Cake was not my Mom's specialty.  It was CHOCOLATE Cake, moreover EVERY cake my mom baked was always sold and we always receive great feed backs. That's a REAL fact! We don't have multiply and Facebook back then to market them. All we had was "word of mouth" and quality. 

I LOVE BETTY'S CAKES

like us on FACEBOOK

For inquiries please contact
July Veranga - 0563439310 or bbmpin 22E30F81
Betty's Cake -0503457428 or bbmpin 238F6EFA

HAVE A GREAT DAY! - DUBAI UAE CLIENTS

Betty's Cakes - DUBAI, UAE

 PLEASE LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!

You don't need to wait for a special occasion to try our cakes - a cake makes any day of the year sweeter! If you're wondering about our quality, please do try our 

SPECIAL UBE CAKE and MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!


HAVE A GREAT DAY! - DUBAI UAE CLIENTS

https://www.facebook.com/Verangaling-Cakes-DUBAI-UAE-228807477134286/?ref=hl

Oh. Someday.

lesbian proposals. OMG

Super inggit. I'll find you soon babe. haiyoooo...

My Tattoos :))

FAITH HOPE LOVE 

                                          INFINITE SIGN - MIDDLE FINGER(My Choice)

The rest of my tattoos are discreet. So yeah, go figure!

Lost Soul

Your soul went away for a while and you think your body is moving itself? Like sometimes you forget you're human and you're you.

That split second when you lose control and forget you're existing. You are breathing, you are alive.

Eye sight blurry. All you hear is silence and your panicking conscience. Then you wake up. You are back in the real world. What the fuck happened?

Now tell me? What was that all about? Have you ever felt that? It may sound corny. But I find it really disturbing.


HELP?

UNO

Isang tao na alam kung paano ka tatahan mula sa nakakapagod na mundo.

Para sa kanya ikaw lamang ang kanyang numero uno.

Ang taong alam mo andiyan lamang pag ikaw ay napahikbi.

Siya lang ang may alam kung papaano ka kakalma at paano ka lalaban muli. 

Handa siyang makinig at makipag sabayan sa kulit mo. 

Umiintindi at kayang suyuin ang lahat ng mali mo.

Pag ibig na alam mong walang kundisyon. 

Sayung sayo ako at sana akin ka lamang.

Para sa kanya handa ka rin makipag away.

Kaibigan mo siya, kasangga at isang biyaya.

Kami ay isang pag-kakamali sa iba.

Ngunit tinawid namin ng sabay ang takot at pangamba.

Isa lang ang dapat mahalin. 

Ikaw lang ang sasambahin. 

Sayo ako uuwi.

Kahit maakit sa katabi.

Ikaw Ikaw Ikaw. 

Ikaw ang mahal ko. 

Ikaw lang. 

Ikaw ang nag-iisang mahal ko.

Pero sa ngayon ako ay isang pagkakamali.

Saan ako nag kamali?

May basabi ba akong mali?

Biglaan mo na lang akong itinapon sa tabi.

Ako'y naging isang ekperimentong unang natikman.

Isang kasanasan na hindi mo na babalikan.

Mukha mo'y hindi mo na kelangang takpan. 

Pipilitin kong lumigaya para sa iyong kinabukasan.

Hindi ko na nagawang ipaglaban. 

Pagmamahalan nating akala ko'y walang hanggan.

Malaya ka na. 

Matatanggap ka na nila. 

Ito ang tatandaan mo. 

Ikaw ang una kong minahal ng ganito.

Ikaw pa rin ang numero uno. 

Ang numero unong sakit sa ulo at mahal na mahal ko. 

MMK - Bibingka(PulangLaso)

Unfortunatley, we don't have TFC on top of our cable, all we have is GMA and TV5.  But phnoy.com saved the night! I was able to watch MMK - Pulang Laso.

For those who wasn't able to watch it, the story is about two bisexual lovers. Kevin(Carlo Aquino) and Alan(Joem Bascon). They met at a movie house and had casual sex. The story goes on as they fell in love with each other.

Kevin was disowned by his parents for being gay and he refused to go to abroad with them, he chose to be with Allan and work for himself as a Gym instructor. On the other hand Allan was a call center agent and probably 8 years older than Allan.

As days passed, Allan noticed that Kevin is starting to be cold. There was this change in their relationship. Without a clue, Kevin acquired HIV from his clients at gym.

I didn't like the infidelity issue over here, that's what I don't understand with gay people, Allan acquired HIV from Kevin. But Allan accepted everything and stayed with Kevin wholeheartedly.

I just find it lame to blame the lack of income for sex/infidelity but still Allan was beside Kevin until his last breath. I wish to find a partner like him, who's patient, who listens, loyal and always on your side.

The rest of the lines were heart breaking. It all ends up to fight for your LOVE.

Anyway, kudos to Carlo Aquino and Joem Bascon! Good Job!

And lastly, being gay is not immoral. We have feelings to. FREEDOM TO LOVE EVERYONE.

AMALAYER GIRL - Delayed Reaction

When I first saw the Amalayer video, I knew the GUARD was at fault. I've experience a lot from our guards. Palpak ang mga Philippine guards. They don't even have formal trainings. I am quite sure of that. In my opinion, I believe at Paula Salvosa was the victim here. In fact I salut her for her assertiveness. See if you were in her position, you'd be in a crowded place, tired, and treated by some guard. I would do the same. I would defend myself.

Eto lang yan e, hindi magagalit ang tao kung may mali kang ginawa. But on the other hand she could've settled the argument in a much mannered way. Kumbaga kung sino mas na kakaintindi yun ang umintindi. 

She doesn't deserved to be bashed/cyber bullied. Guys, please lang be open minded, and to whoever uploaded that video shame on you, our country is filled with hypocrites now. If you want peace then start on your own. Hug a tree for gods sake. No body is perfect, I just understand what she's going through. If you think you'd be heroic for uploading the video, you're so stupid, you just labeled us, filipinos of being hungry for attention.

We express ourselves in networking sites such as fb and twitter. We live in a free country. But I think we should all be sensitive of what we are posting. And I think what happened to her was way too much and what we need to think of are the poor people in our country. 

What I am trying to say is that. Nakakasawa na po yung ganito. Bansa naman natin ang isipin.

So yeah. AMALAYER. GAH! LOL 

Everybody HATES The Underdog

 I don't really need to explain anything or share what happened. I don't need to prove or point fingers. All I know is that I was once an underdog.

Everybody expected that I would messed up, that I would throw away everything. I am the one expected to lose. I am the one expected to struggle. Am I the bad person cause I am immoral? Well sharpen your brains people. I was not informed. 

That lie that ruined everything, is very life changing. I am going to love myself more.I wont let anyone put me down. I wont let anyone put dirt on my face. I am always on the right side. I will gain more. 

TANDAAN! ANG THERMOMETER DIGITAL NA PO.

the KABAYAN ice cream

Tomboy ako, hindi ko sinasabing lalake ako, babae pa rin ako. Minsan na akong nabastos ng kapwa ko Pilipino dito. Bastos siya. Binastos ako ng kalahi ko, ang kabayan ko na harapan akong binastos sa harap ng nanay ko. Hindi pa kasi ako out nun, dalawang taon nang nakalipas yon at naaalala ko pa rin hanggang ngayon. Alam ko nga ung papanamit ko noon tama lang naman, hindi halatang tomboy. Nagsimula ang lahat sa pag bili ko ng ice cream sa isang tindahan dito sa Dubai.

"I want a scoop of chocolate ice cream please - cone" kabayan pala ang tindero.
"Ito ba? Ganda mo sana kaso tomboy ka..." sabay walk out

Hindi ako nakapagsalita, dahil gusto ko lang ng ice cream. Bakasyunista lang naman ako at hindi ako nakapalag dahil kasama ko si mommy. Hindi ako nakabwelta dahil tumalikod siya agad. Gusto ko itapon sa mukha niya yung ice cream sa totoo lang. Hindi na din nagawang sumagot dahil maraming tao at kabayan pa siya. Naiinis ako dahil hindi ko nadepensahan ang sarili ko, dahil may mga hipokritong katulad niya. Naiinis ako dahil wala akong nasabi at ngayon ko lang nailabas. Sa inis ko natunaw ang ice cream at dala ko pauwi ang alaalang yun.

Simula nun, naapreciate ko na nag mga edukadong tao. Yung mga cultured and mannered, di naman lahat ng edukado matino. May gago lang talaga at kinulang sa nutrisyon nung kabataan. Simula noon, ayaw ko na masaktan sa sinasabi ng iba, sasabihin ko sa mukha mo ang dapat mong malaman para sa huli hindi ko iuuwe ang sama ng loob.

So kung sasapakin mo ko. Gugulpihin ka ng masasakit kong salita. Murahin mo ako? Titignan kita na halos ikaliit mo ang sarili mo. Hindi na ako uuwi ng luhaan. Hindi na ako uuwe ng masama loob ko. Hindi ko hahayaan na saktan ako. Tao rin ako tulad ninyo. Nasasaktan din kabayan.