10/23/13

St. Jude



When I was a kid, my mom took me to St. Jude in Manila for us to pray for our visa approval. I was 10 or maybe younger. We went there because we have some issues with documents. I remember praying outside the church. Granted.

A few years after I forgot about that wish. I forgot about St. Jude. 

Until I saw a St. Jude pamphlet when I reached high school. Then I remember being hopeless and really lonely. I didn't know what I wanted. I suddenly said "Dear St. Jude I want a girl friend"
I was crying when I was reading the prayer, I thought it was bad thing to ask for something that I was really unsure. Then I met my first love. :) Granted. 

When I was 4th year High School, there was this classmate who's a great 3 pointer. She was a great player too, I prayed so hard that I wanted to be MVP. :) Granted.

Fourth wish, when I came here in Dubai, I've been a mess. I wanted the job that best suit me and now I got it. :) Granted. 

Dear St. Jude,
I firmly believe in you. When I was hopeless and when things are despaired for me, you always answered me. So If ever that I bear or adopt a boy child, I will name it after you.

<3 p="">



10/20/13

SELFISH KA


Dear you,

Sometimes the solution is not to change the CIRCUMSTANCE but to CHANGE our ATTITUDE about that circumstance. If you can't change, then you don't GROW and it seems that you haven't reach the "himalayas" of changing-yourself-for the sake of friendship/love whatever.

You cannot control every feelings and emotions of a person. Thank you for deleting us in every contact you have. That was really cool as we are very worried when you walked out of the sunny sands of Hatta.

You are going to be stuck with the same situation forever with that selfishness and I WON'T APOLOGIZE FOR BEING RIGHT. I tried to be the nicest when I was about to be furious, but you crossed the line. A very thick line. If you wish to leave and shut everyone out, then go. Tell everyone you are the victim and besides you are good at walking away with problems right?

Let me remind you, I don't chase and tolerate ungrateful people.

Have a great life.

Berting


10/10/13

INSULTO 101 - Cool ka lang.


How will you answer someone in the following situations given?
WHAT IF SOMEONE INSULTS YOU AND TELLS YOU THIS:

1. Ang arte mo!

-Ulol?

2. Mas matalino naman ako sayo.

-Ah ganon, mas maganda naman ako sayo. 

3. Crush ako ng ex mo.

-Panget na pala ng taste niya 

4. Am bobo mo pala sa History!

-Mali ka jan ate, NO! 

5. Bilisan mo naman!

-Wag mo akong madaliin, hindi nagmamadali ang mga gwapong tulad ko!

6. Ang sungit mo!
-pwede ako magsungit pogi ako eh! 

7. Gusto mo ng away?

-Stay away from me, you don't know what I am capable of doing

8. Takot ka ata sakin eh?

-Mejo, panget ka kasi

9. Mas mahal niya ko!

-linoloko mo sarili mo

10. Ambababa naman ng grades mo!

-may love life kasi ako, ikaw kasi wala, panget ka kasi

WHAT IF SINABI SAYO ITO NG CRUSH MO?


1. crush kita.

-Alam ko na yan

2. Di kita mahal.

-Sabi mo lang yan

3. Mahal na kita.

-Anu ngayon?

4. Pakopya naman ng assignment.

-Wala din akong assignment

5. Crush ko yung friend mo.
-Bagay kayo, parehas kayung shunga

6. Pwede patabi sa upuan mo?
-Baka magselos GF ko

7. Cute mo magsmile.

-I know right


KAPAG PARENTS MO ANG NAGSABI SAYO NITO?

1. Umuwi ka ng maaga.
-Mag overnight na lang ako

2. Magaling ka pala sumayaw?

-Keri lang 

3. Hindi ka pwedeng pumasok sa klase.

-Sure! Graduate na ako. haha :p

4. Bawal ka maggirlfriend/boyfriend.

-No way! 

5. Bakit ba mainit ulo mo?

-Daming tanong e

6. Bakit ngayon ka lang?

-Traffic sa edsa

7. Bakit ang baba ng grades mo?

- para di nyo mahalata na genius ako!

10/9/13

Flattered ng 3/4 - That's My Tomboy :))


Kinamusta ko si JB at jan napunta ang usapan. HAHA! Thanks Brader. #facepalm

One shirt. Five Pants.

What to do? But I don't know which pants will I wear? Help? HOHO 


I Must Not Lose FAITH.




Most of you guys don't know my story but if you only knew how broken I was. How painful it was for me to wake up everyday feeling empty. 2012, indeed was a crazy year for me, it gave me too much to remember. During those times, I wouldn't mind if the world really ended.

I fucked up, I was stupid. We grow, we change and we learn. Then you'll have too much standards. You'll eventually know your worth.

When I came here, I never talked to anyone except my mother. She witnessed my worst state and I appreciate all of the kindness and patience she gave me. I admit I was very rude during those days. I was afraid to start a conversation. I was scared to look in peoples eyes. I rarely smiled. I was gaining weight. I started to invest in headsets and listen to hard music. I started to doubt more. I started to shut everyone. I wanted the world to stop revolving until I find my gravity.

My sanity was focused on how I have been hurt too many times, you wouldn't imagine how much forgiveness It took me. How many headsets was broken. How many times I have cried inside the shower. Today everything seems to be funny. I know. I am glad I have reached this point.

I have been running away from the people who cared. I have been destructive that if I have something good, I feel compelled to destroy it. I was a mess.

I know happiness is a choice. I am straight now. JOKE!

Really, this maybe a big surprise but lately I have been thinking that someone better is coming tomorrow and I can't wait to meet her/him. *undertones on HIM.

I may have lose love, but that doesn't mean that I have failed in love, right? Real peace and happiness comes only with open acceptance of what is today. I need to forgive more and accept the verdict of reality without being bitter and sorry for what I have become. I am what I am and I will rise.


We do not lose by loving, we only lose by not learning from our mistakes. 

I hope and pray to be more inspired. I must not lose faith. 



-----


MNMKSK - Mahal na Mahal ko sarili ko. 

I am a UNICORN! :)) 




My Almost Perfect Plan


"Bro, sundo mo ko bukas, I brought my car sa Casa, please" I was holding a ukelele. Trying to play something amazing.
"Sige, Bro, may sasabihin ako"
"Anu un? wag lang masyado Math."
"I don't like Ira anymore."
"Why?"
"She's fine at first, kaya lang I find her inappropriate, mejo jumologs kasi"
"Sinabi mo ba sa kanya?" I felt the same way actually, I just didn't know how to tell it to my best buddy.
"Basta ayoko na sa kanya"
"Tell her you like someone"
"I kindaaaa.. like your store manager."

"Abby?! She's OK. Yeah you can date her." I sounded defensive. I was starting to be confused with Abigail and Sofia. I think I kind of like her too. Sofia was busy these past few weeks. I haven't heard from her, although she texts me most of the time. I reply very late, I sometimes intent to do that, so she ends up calling and being praning. We were in a relationship status of don't ask don't tell the pakiramdaman mode. In other words, she is not consistent.

On the other hand, I am with Abigail, everyday and we get along well. We communicate without words, just gestures or I should say, mental telepathy. It's amazing how we don't argue inside my shop. Actually both of them are totally amazing.

"I think Abby likes you."

"You think so? I don't know, I can't and I don't know what I want for a partner for now. I am not stuck naman with you know." I was being loose. I don't want her to be disheartened but yes, I know Abigail likes me. But I don't know why I feel unsure about her. I think it's because I thought she was straight.

"Of course. Sobrang deleted na siya, I remember your moving on stage. Bwahah!"

"Thanks Nards, don't remind me. What would I do widawchu, yung totoo, I am confused with Abigail and Sofia. I don't want to play with someone's heart anymore. I think I am too old for games. Both of them deserves someone."

"Hey, just take it slow. Pero, I think I like Abby for you."

"OK. You think Sofia is too sosyal and fragile?"

"Ewan ko ba, she seemed like hindi mo siya mapapakain sa favorite carinderia mo sa Sta. Mesa."

"Great IDEA! I'll bring them both at Chef Brown's Carinderia. Let's see. Hmm!"

"Abby will get this."

"Let's see"

-----

Are you busy on sunday? - SEND 

Sofia: Not really. Wanna got out? 

Yes. Can I take you to my favorite store in Sta. Mesa. Please don't wear anything fancy. You might me kidnapped from me. Haha - SEND 

Sofia: Pick me up at my house? What time ba?

I'll pick you up by 5pm. Bring you home by 8. That OK?-SEND 

Sofia: Any color coding? haha! Please wear Orange.

I don't like orange :s Blue na lang? -SEND

Sofia: Black? 

Mainet pag black. White? -SEND 

Sofia: Pink? 

I give up OK OK Pink it is. -SEND

Sofia: yay! Pink wins! 

Sunday, it's a date. fyi don't wear a gown or a dress :P just casual fish ball get up

Sofia: copy! :D Sundate it is. 

------

I wanna take you to my favorite food store in Sta. Mesa on sunday? Can we leave Arian and Kelvin for the whole morning? -SEND 

Abigail: Sure boss I'll instruct them tomorrow. That way sa sunday we can leave maybe sa morning and hopefully return after lunch?

Great. I'll pick you up 10am. -SEND 

Ok. Thanks boss :) :) :) :) :) Pwede mag emoticons.

Haha :p See you. - SEND 

----

Multitasking at its finest. I told Nards about my itinerary. She was laughing at my plan. She knew I could make it by schedule.

"You are such a great badass, ok continue that, kasi naniniwala ako na kinukuha ni lord agad agad ang mababaet"

"Hey, I am not cheating naman diva?" I threw a pillow at Nards.

"No you're not but you forgot about something."

"Anu un?"

"Wala kang car. Asa CASA."

"Ay shit. Peram si Gunter?"

"Shit ka, pagasan mo ah"

"No problem"






LSS of the WEEK

Whenever I hear this I feel like I am in a beauty pageant. :))



Drive Alone - Esthero

Can't move on
But I can't go home
And I'm not so strong
But I make my way
To the place I know
Inside my heart
Where I used to go
To get brave and
I don't want to be lost anymore

Can't move on
But I can't go home
And I'm not so strong
But I make my way
To the place I know
Inside my heart
Where I used to go
To get brave and
I don't want to be lost anymore

Gotta find my, gotta find my, gonna find my way back home
Gotta find my, gotta find my, gonna find my way back home
Gotta find my, gotta find my, gonna find my way back home
Gotta find my, gotta find my, gonna find my way back home
Gotta find my, gotta find my, gonna find my way back home
Gotta find my, gotta find my, gonna find my way back home
Gotta find my, gotta find my, gonna find my way back home

I don't know where I go
But I know I drive alone
I terribly miss you
More than you'll ever know
You've gotta come back somehow
You've gotta come back somehow

Can't move on
But I can't go home
And I'm not so strong
But I gave my way
To the place I know
Inside my heart
Where I used to go
To get brave and

10/5/13

Martinez Sisters



"Siya ba si Boss?!"
"Oo, cute niya no, single pa rin yun."
"Ako nakabunggo sa kanya kanina, yes, cute siya and super nice niya" 
"Cultured and mannered kasi siya" 
"Your GF called me sa phone ko, talk to her na please sis, she's annoying." 
"Wala na kami. She cheated. Its been 2 months, tapos ngayon lang siya maghahabol" 
"Your boss. Crush ko siya." 
"Stop it, she won't like you. Galit sa shunga un, hindi ka papasa" 
"Ang sama mo!" 

Mara Martinez, Abby's younger sister. Student. Brat. Their parents are in America. 

"I will visit you tomorrow ha." 
"Ako ba ivivisit mo or si boss?, don't flirt with her dedeadmahin ka lang nun" 
"Tapusin mo muna ugnayan ninyo ni Celine" she was looking for Berts Urdaneta's FB account. 
"Tapos na kami, stop stalking Boss!?" 
"She's super single pala." 
"Yes, for 6 years" 
"You did your research Ate ah."
"Pano If she likes me back? What will you do?"
"It won't happen. Go to sleep na nga!"
 "Sunget, can I borrow five thousand?"
"No."

Boss I am sorry in behalf of my sister, siya pala nakabunggo sayo kanina. - SEND 

It's ok. I asked her to pay me five thousand for the car repair, buti na lang insured pa yung car ko. Have some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow? - SEND 

See you boss :) - SEND 





10/4/13

CAR CRASH




I was busy fixing my business renewals. I went to the bank to deposit money. When I was about to go back to my shop. An SUV bumped my car from behind. I was never really rude, but I was really pressured that time, I went down immediately and shouted at the driver.

"Seriously, I just got my car the other day from service center and you just bumped me from behind!"
"I am sorry. I am sorry" She went down Immediately. I took a pictures of her car and the damage she made. I just wanted police to come so that I can have a police record for insurance purposes. When I was about to burst madness for the second time, I looked at her, she looks like Solenn Heaussaf but chinky eyed.

"I need your number, what's your name? where do you live??" I sounded like hitting on her.
"Mara Martinez, here's my number, 918 3434230,  do you have comprehensive insurance?'
"yes, really I am in a hurry, why don't you just pay me the standard pay"
"Ok, here you go, It's OK I am a student too"
"Haha, here's my business card. I'll call you if this doesn't work out. I hope your phone won't be turned off when I call you. Take Care and watch your way."

At the age of 30, I still look like a student. When I came back to the shop, I saw Abigail. Went inside the stock room, making Arian in charge.

"Ms. Abigail, do I look young?"
"Boss, honestly, you look like 23 years old." She giggled. I couldn't see her eyes.
"Really? my car got bumped from behind, the female driver thought I was a student, anyway, where's your report? And what is it with your text? Problems?"

She gave the monthly sales report, inventory/stocks report, sales deductions(electricity, water, staff salary, maintenance etc). She was discussing and asking things to buy, where to buy and what are the things we could do to promote the shop . I admit when she reports, I get really turned on. She's really passionate about her job. She loves my shop. I feel like we have a connection in Entrepreneurial activities. When we finished our meeting. I praised her again for her store management skills and people management.

I asked her about her text message. I was starting to feel worried. Because we were inside the stock room, I was afraid to break our wall. I was afraid to make a wrong signal. I was afraid she might resign. I can't lose her.

"Arian and Kelvin are in a relationship. Should we allow this?"
"I don't think theres a problem with that, as long as they are doing their jobs well and won't get pregnant anytime soon. What else? Do you need any assistance from me?" I started to laugh a bit.

"Uhmm. Boss?" She's starting to sound weird again.
"Yes?"
"Nothing."
"Really? Need a lift pauwe? I could drop you since the shop is already closing? that way you can think of what's bothering you?"
"OK Boss"

When we went out of the stock room, I saw Ira inside. I approached her. We talked about Nards.
She said she wanted to be in a relationship with her. Which was fine because finally, Nards found her pair.

"I don't see the point of you not liking Sofia?"
"I was just jealous."
"Why would you be jealous? Come on. I deserve to be happy. For 6 years, I guess long wait is over."
"Yeah, alam ko. Sorry."
"No need to be sorry to me, I guess you need to apologize to her"
"Alam mo na?!"
"She didn't tell me, I just felt you did something to her"
"Maybe, in time, soon, I would"
"You should. Did you bring your car? or susunduen ka ni Nards?"
"I have to go somewhere Berts. I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you soon"

The shop was closed. Arian and Kelvin went out and said their goodbyes. I was left inside the shop with Abigail. She closed the lights, It was really dark,  I was a little scared.
"Ms. Abigail? Asan ka?"I was extending my hand. I wouldn't let her scare me. I felt her skin on my right hand.
"Walang takutan boss."
"Akala ko nga ako gugulatin mo eh"
She was pulling my shirt from behind as I locked the door. When we were at the stairs, she tripped and I grabbed her right arm and pulled her.

"Don't fall for me kasi"
"Boss! Are you kidding!? Haha!"
"You look really tired, do you need a holiday or something?" She started to be comfortable with me, I forgot my boss borderline. I made her cross my bridge.
"Not really."

I opened the front seat for her. Then I was driving slow. It was raining. When we were one block away from her house. She said.

"Stop the car boss."
"Bakit?"
"Hindi ko alam kung nararamdaman mo rin, hindi ko alam basta kelangan mo malaman to, mahal kita boss. You inspire me to be better, your presence makes me happy. Yung feeling na I'd take anything just to see you happy even if it is at the expense of my happiness. I love you that way." She was trying to go down. Unfortunately, her walk out moment was ruined cause I had the car on child lock.

"Naka child lock, don't runaway. All I know is that, I need you and I don't know what will happen if I lose you. Please stay with me." I begged her to stay. Cause I need her. I want her for my selfish needs.

I kissed her in her forehead. I didn't know what was that for. I drove till we reached her house. I went down with an umbrella, fetch her at the front seat. She was beside me. She door belled. Her house was big, I didn't know she was rich.

"Ikaw?"
"You know my sister Boss?"





10/3/13

Nightmare VS Pancakes

HE was following me, I was running away from him. I was really mad and teary eyed. I don't want to listen. He was tall, dark, not that bulky but he's fit, he looks like a boring executive vice president of some insurance company. I was never really a walk out queen. But I guess I just wanted to save our friendship by walking away. Less words, less mistakes. He pulled my hand 

"You're not gay! Niloloko mo sarili mo"

My head was throbbing hard. My mouth is about to burst something really strong. I faced him with my most mannered state. "Sabi ko naman sayo, ayoko sa lalake, hindi ako science project at sabi ko sayo kung may pustahan to pag hatian na lang natin!"

"Mahal kita" He was trying to kiss me. I slapped him. Really hard. 

"Satingen mo ba kung mahalikan mo ako, babae na ako? Satingen mo pag nag sex tayo babae na ako? You're a never was now. Get out of my sight." 

I cried and it was horrifying. I lost him. I can't see him anymore, it was all blurry. I was crying, I feel really weak. Somebody hugged me from behind, "What's wrong baby?". It was him. I couldn't understand why I was on bed with him. I was in panic. 

"Baby? Hey?" I was crying in my sleep. She hugged me so tight. I didn't know I was hitting myself again. She was holding my hands while I was trying to hit myself. She grabbed my face and kissed my forehead. "Baby it was a nightmare, it's never true and It won't happen, calm down" Her face was really worried and a bit scared. 

She wen't out to get a glass of water. I drank water. She looks really tired but I am glad she's beside me. I cried again. I told her about my dream. She just listened. I hate people seeing me cry. I feel like I am sharing my misery too much. But she made me really calm. 

I fell asleep in her arms. Woke up 5am, I am still wrapped around her arms. I went out and cooked breakfast. I made bacon, eggs and pancakes. I wrote thank you using bacon, she loves bacon on top of her pancakes. The other side of the table was another plate with 5 huge pancakes with peanut butter on the side. It was for Nards, my other partner. I smiled knowing that If I lose her, I still have Nards. My plate was bacon stuck in a pancake - as I call it. 





When I was opening a carton of orange juice. She went out of the room, grouchy, hair messed up.

"Good Morning Baby, let's eat breakfast" 

"Kanino yung isa? Kay NARDS! Jealous ako, no, kidding, I love you!". Both of her hands was on my waist, then she gave me the sweetest smack. "Nag gargle ka na ba?" "Ha! Not yet!" 

Nards went out of her room. "Ewww, Mom? Dad? Wow! Pangkeks!".