10/9/13

I Must Not Lose FAITH.




Most of you guys don't know my story but if you only knew how broken I was. How painful it was for me to wake up everyday feeling empty. 2012, indeed was a crazy year for me, it gave me too much to remember. During those times, I wouldn't mind if the world really ended.

I fucked up, I was stupid. We grow, we change and we learn. Then you'll have too much standards. You'll eventually know your worth.

When I came here, I never talked to anyone except my mother. She witnessed my worst state and I appreciate all of the kindness and patience she gave me. I admit I was very rude during those days. I was afraid to start a conversation. I was scared to look in peoples eyes. I rarely smiled. I was gaining weight. I started to invest in headsets and listen to hard music. I started to doubt more. I started to shut everyone. I wanted the world to stop revolving until I find my gravity.

My sanity was focused on how I have been hurt too many times, you wouldn't imagine how much forgiveness It took me. How many headsets was broken. How many times I have cried inside the shower. Today everything seems to be funny. I know. I am glad I have reached this point.

I have been running away from the people who cared. I have been destructive that if I have something good, I feel compelled to destroy it. I was a mess.

I know happiness is a choice. I am straight now. JOKE!

Really, this maybe a big surprise but lately I have been thinking that someone better is coming tomorrow and I can't wait to meet her/him. *undertones on HIM.

I may have lose love, but that doesn't mean that I have failed in love, right? Real peace and happiness comes only with open acceptance of what is today. I need to forgive more and accept the verdict of reality without being bitter and sorry for what I have become. I am what I am and I will rise.


We do not lose by loving, we only lose by not learning from our mistakes. 

I hope and pray to be more inspired. I must not lose faith. 



-----


MNMKSK - Mahal na Mahal ko sarili ko. 

I am a UNICORN! :)) 




No comments:

Post a Comment