...................

I feel like nobody understands me today. I feel like everyone is preoccupied with their wants. I could use a shoulder to cry on. In my situation, I only have this blog to vent out. I will pour it all out.

Everything went well until, I felt emotionally drained today. I have been looking at peoples blessings instead of counting mines. I have been envying other's achievements instead of improving mines. I have been withdrawing myself to people cause I cannot seem to catch up with their financial freedom or they might make fun of me. They might make fun of my things, my investments and physical attributes. I have been so fragile to other peoples statements. I have been working hard, so that I could never feel belittled. I have been battling with the people around me. I have been defensive on so many things. I have been pressuring myself to be better. I have been depriving myself. I have been torturing myself. I thought I need to feel devastated to be better. To strive more.

I knew I was doing well. That my insecurities will pass. It will pass. Until I find out that my hard work isn't good enough....

I wish I have all the power in the world to make anyone and everyone happy.

But then again this shall pass. I will TRY to understand. But what can you do if you feel like the unconditional love is coming to an end?

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ANG SAKIT SAKIT. Pero sige lang. Party lang. Hooooo...... ANG SAKIT ;'(

And my head goes BSB

"I Want It That Way"

Yeah

[Brian:]
You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say
I want it that way

[Nick:]
But we are two worlds apart
Can't reach to your heart
When you say
That I want it that way

[Chorus:]
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

[AJ:]
Am I your fire
Your one desire
Yes I know it's too late
But I want it that way

[Chorus:]
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

[Kevin:]
Now I can see that we're falling apart
From the way that it used to be, yeah
No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me...

[Howie:]
You are my fire
The one desire
You are
You are, you are, you are

Don't wanna hear you say
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake (don't wanna hear you say)
I never wanna hear you say (oh, yeah)
I want it that way

Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say (don't wanna hear you say)
I want it that way
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say (never wanna hear you say)
I want it that way

'Cause I want it that way