Gutom lang ito.

Day one - soft diet, Oatmeal, Apples, Juice, Water. (For 7 days straight)

I have been planning to lose weight cause I don't feel good bout myself.

I have been stuck at home and it's scorching hot in here. I try to not be idle cause it only makes me think about my miseries/hang ups. So this morning I am amazed how I turned out to be an incredibly jealous girl friend in my current relationship. I have never been this jealous type before. I just feel a pang of jealousy eating my own flesh. I know I completely, trust my girl friend. Maybe it's just our situation(LDR) or maybe my jealousy is a projection of how I got damaged by my previous ex.

But this is not about jealousy, the thing here is I have this self-esteem issue that makes me sad. I think I wouldn't be able to entertain jealousy if I am not happy with myself . I know my self esteem seems to have plummeted over the past few years. Its has been almost two years of downgrading myself. I just don't want this overly-impulsive-jealousy hurt anymore.

I am continuously reconstructing my mind set about our LDR, I should cope much better. Maybe it's just stress and I should love myself better. Ok. I am on a diet kasi. Haha. Gutom lang ito. Alam ko. Relax. God loves you Jul. Be patient with yourself.

-----

Dear God,


I may not have what I want right now, but I know you are still providing my needs. I am completely grateful and I know you have something better for me. Help me not lose myself as I am on a diet. Thank you for everything.

Jul

Eleanor and Park

Just finished this book a friend recommended last week. It took me 2 days to finish it but it could've been a day cause I had to help my mom with the groceries. It was a story of a half Korean/American boy named Park Sheridan who fell in love with Eleanor Douglas. The book was written in a unique and chronological way by dividing the chapters into two parts - Eleanor's and Park's. The story deals with issues such as child abuse, domestic abuse, racism, bullying and love (First love/Secret love).

Comic books, mixed tapes and the school bus - the main characters fell in love over these. The three of the fore mentioned words could be a great title for MMK (haha). While I was reading the book, love has indeed no boundaries - No age, No size, No Gender and No Color. All love. It should be all love.

The setting was during the 80s, I wasn't really into comics. I couldn't even relate to the music artists mentioned but I sure did experienced mixed tapes, walkmans and batteries. School bus, I did had a crush during my school bus days. But I wasn't embracing my true self back then(If you know what I mean, mine's should probably count into the love - secret love category b section 2. Whuuut. Ako lang nakakaintindi).

Eleanor was abused and deals with a terrible life style daily. But she's a smart ass. On the other hand she met Park, her sunshine. Park has a very supportive family and he's very close to her mom. I think momma's boys are great with girls(relationships). I am starting to believe I am a momma's boy/girl. LOL. I also felt the feeling of how hard it was not to have a telephone at home. Eleanor doesn't have a home phone. Cellphones was still in the process of technology. And the highest form of technology there was a telephone.

The two has a lot of differences from built to personality. But they love each other very much.

I am not really satisfied with such short or lacking endings. I'd rather read a bad ending than go figure whats next. If you're an optimistic person you'd probably say they end up together and have 4 kids. If you're pessimistic, you'd say that they wont last long cause they don't have skype yet, collect calls were expensive, things might have change because of their distance and they just might have this tragic-puppy-first-love thing.

I give 8stars over 10 for this book. Simple, Narrative, nailed my inner child.

Good job, Rainbow writer. If that was your real name or nom de plum. Youre cool Mr. Rainbow. 


 

Forever Stalker ka!

A friend messaged me at facebook and told me that my blog contains a huge amount of emotions for one category and that is Love. Of course I defended myself that this blog is for my emotional babbles only. That this blog is not intended for others business. Its more on, AKOLOGY. Ako this, ako that, ako with them. So on so fort and the list may go on. A blog, my blog. My rules sistah! But for a change. Okay! As much as possible, I am going to write about food and business. But I wont write about showbiz and politics. I might get death threats for those unicorns. Depends on my mood. Lala.. :P

Thanks for being a frequent reader. Thanks for the request. Challenge accepted. Now where's my birthday gift? Shuhada?

Drowning in a pool of emotions.

Gwen Stacy: I think that maybe it's time to let this go. And thats not because I don't love you, but its actually because I do. So um...okay, bye.

 -----
 
I am not really a masochist. But acceptance is the first step in hurting. I wish I am not hurting. I wish I didn't care.

Have you ever cried because you are you?

Sometimes, you just have to cry it all out.

They say you ain't growing up if you ain't losing friends.

Dear Buddy,

She is just a girl. Very ambivalent and you thought she's fierce but she ends up weak. She lit a fire and made you believe into something magical. I feel your pain even though I am away from you. My buddy it's okay to mourn, let me remind you that never let anymore treat you like an option. Amend your mistakes and let God restore your frowning heart. Forgive her and yourself too, cause you knew it was somehow not possible. I know somewhere out there there's another UNICORN made for you. I completely understand. Let people react to what needs to be. You still man the wheel of your life and don't let it be taken away. Just my thoughts. Its not worth it for them to drag you down. Stay well and I'll always have your back. If you need someone to listen, call me. Keep yourself busy and sabi ko nga let it GOAT.

Mwah mwaaah mwa TSUP TSUP TSUP! Torrids. 

Eat ka chicken sa andoks. I miss andoks. HUUUUU...

Labyu. 

Galing sa PUSO hindi sa NGUSO

Working overseas for a Filipino is a stepping stone to fulfill the dreams of being able to help their families have a better future. Majority of our kababayans dream is to be able to help their families but for some it turned into a real nightmare. Not all heroes don't always succeed.

My father spent most of his life as an overseas Filipino worker. During his time, well I think until now, the effective living option of survival from the wrath of the Philippines is to work overseas. And I thank GOD that my dad wasn't a victim of illegal procedures of POEA.

Anyway, think of this? What if our country never experienced corruption? Maybe there's no ecomonic deflation? Maybe there's enough jobs for every Filipinos. Maybe there will be no kids who grows up daddy less or mommy less or worst no parents at all. Our political stability is such a failure that some of the Filipinos doesn't feel proud to be a Filipino. Well, at least we can see a few changes from the current administration.

So yesterday, Mommy and I decided to participate into a charity dinner for the stranded Filipinos at POLO-OWWA(Philippine Overseas Labor Office-Overseas Workers Welfare Administration. It was a life changing experience, because it was very interactive and the event focused on the spiritual side. We should all face challenges thru the help of Christ. All of my fears and insecurities, suddenly, gone. My heart wasn't frowning anymore to the thought of with God nothing is impossible (Matthew 19:26).

We brought a cake(Cheesecake) for the homeless and hungry Filipinos. I was teary eyed when I sat listening to Sister Ann a volunteer who was preaching about the teachings of God. How much God loves us. There was this awful pricky feeling inside my stomach. My knees were numb. Seeing the victims gave me so much things to be grateful of. Despite of my own failures, I know I am still blessed and God loves me.

Honestly we(Mom) are not really showy religious but we are afraid and we love god. When I was there I feel loved. I feel happy being able to give happiness. I want to do this more often. We also met Pastor Ray who prayed for the ending program, he was very nice. His prayer was long and very spontaneous. I wonder if I could actually pray like him, publicly. On the other hand Mommy was invited about the event thru Ms. Fleur De Lis Maravilla. Such beautiful soul and heart madam. God bless her family and his super active and talented son.

When you volunteer, you usually get back more than you give. You make new friends, you see someone blossom, you teach and rebuild peoples lives, there's a million ways to help.

By volunteering. I realized we could develop new skills. Giving time to others and sharing our talent in baking is an opportunity in exposure. Not that were focusing on the business side but it will give us a mark up that Betty's cakes gives back by doing something to the Filipino community as well. I am thinking of cutting a certain percentage to our cakes and give back to the community? Sounds great? AMEN!

Life is really hard when you are feeling down. Problems can seem to be never ending but by volunteering you feel a new perspective - seeing people who are worse off than you are. You wouldn't believe the feeling of being able to give happiness. Yet you're still hanging. Standing.

So be a volunteer! but before you volunteer, think of this muna. Ang pag tulong galing sa puso. Hindi sa NGUSO.

God is good.

Swing.

Hello earphones. Please divert me into another zone.

This afternoon I heard some of my friends say things like how lovable I am. But they just don't see it, I am horrible. I am such a lonely person.

Sometimes I often think that I don't deserve to be loved. Have you ever felt that there is something wrong with yourself? maybe I am just jobless, don't make a certain amount of income anymore, bored with the same circle of friends, weirdly act like someone else in a another group. The list could go on and on on on. I am so gone and toast. I want toast.

I get stuck with my own stress. My inner voice, my inner self, my inner critic is driving me crazy. I wonder how would I feel if I try methamphetamine? What does it feel to feel high? Maybe it does help a broken person. I am so broken tonight. A not so surprising epiphany, a dream maybe which I refuse to understand. So much for my fantasies.

I don't know. Help. Lord?

Tomorrow is a new day. Hope Faith Love. Nail it. 
 

Libre mag-inarte sa BLOG KO!

If only. Running in my head. The truth sucks. The truth is like an inflicted syringe to me. I get really hurt on needle insertion, some people disregard the feeling and tells everyone na it's like kagat ng langgam lang yan! then there goes the fluid flowing in your veins, well to me the infliction is too fatal more of death feeling.

So ayun dito na lang ako mag iinarte sa blog ko. Since ito lang ang only way na I can do drama with out spending. FOR NOW.

Kasi the thing here is I wanna start acting lessons. But my priority list says it is too soon to push that dream. It is really early? checks google and see acting classes / workshops - Dubai.

REALITY CHECK
1. I can't afford it yet. Not on my budget list. Mayber next year. *sighs
2. Plus my asa stage pa kami ni gf ng adjustment sa LDR. I can't even focus when she doesn't reply.
3. I am so scared to be the only Filipino to go there. 

So ito ang plano. One step at a time. For now, at least I have information.

I AM INFORMED.

Shuhada *undertones


Drama Workshops Dubai 
facebook.com/DramaDubai

About

Adult acting workshops, improve classes, corporate training and a theatre company, the Desert Players.

Description

Drama Dubai caters for the many theatrical needs of your modern desert-based metropolis. Based at The Courtyard Playhouse, a purpose designed theatre space, and offers adult acting workshops, improv classes, corporate training and a theatre company, the Desert Players, producing shows in and around the emirate.

The Desert Monologues:

Our flagship adult acting course; for all abilities, where participants will perform to a live theatre audience.

The Desert Dialogues:

A more challenging follow-up course focusing on ensemble theatre and one-on-one direction.

Desert Drop-In:

An advanced drop-in class focusing on improvisation; only for advanced students, to practice and hone their craft!

Drama Community Dubai

The Desert Players:

The premiere community theatre group in the UAE producing quality theatre throughout the Emirates. The Desert Players comprises of local talent and holds regular open auditions.

The Desert Foxes:

The Foxes are our youth theatre group and are dedicated to producing quality performances and nurturing talented young actors and actresses.

The Desert Waves

A community Group with its own dedicated recording studio committed to writing and performing original, relevant content for radio: plays; comedy sketches and documentaries.

Drama Agency Dubai:

Actor database of UAE-based performers seeking work: the perfect resource for clients to find the ideal candidate for their requirements.

Corporate Drama Dubai

Offers versatile corporate training packages and role-plays specialists and has partnered with several prestigious management consultancies in the region to provide the most expert and original drama-based corporate training packages.

www.dramaworkshopsdubai.com

 

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

*eto yung madugong part eh*

Basic Package:

1800 Dirhams

Your place on the 16 hour acting course

Your certificate of completion

Audition Package:

2500 Dirhams

 Your place on the 16 hour acting course

 Your certificate of completion

A set of professional portfolio photography

 A video-recording of your monologue performance

An online actor’s profile 

 

Professional Package: 

3500 Dirhams

Your place on the 16 hour acting course

Your certificate of completion

A set of Three High Res professional portfolio photography with one 8×10 print

Set of professional action photography of you on stage performing and backstage with one 8×10 print

A professionally recorded audition piece / showreel

A video-recording of your monologue performance

An online actor’s profile

12 Hours of improv / acting classes running at the Courtyard Playhouse  

*Group bookings will receive a discount, as will those who have taken a course with us previously.

-

Cryola lala laaaa.. cryolaaaa.. laaa! 

Everything about LIFE Seminar - Mr. Francis Kong

I had a wonderful time listening to Mr. Francis Kong. When I first saw Tita Angie's invitation I didn't hesitate to take the opportunity to see him for free. Because one, I am quite lost in track right now, could use and listen to a motivator who can put me back on the corporate arena. Two, I just knew participating in his seminars would cost a lot in the Philippines.

Well, thanks to Filinvestors, they brought Mr. Kong to speak here in Dubai, UAE.

At first the Filinvest people were doing their Marketing Campaign, video presentations were shown as part of their strategy in order to sell properties in the Philippines for Filipino OFWs. Their mission is to empower, unite and engage Filipinos overseas by creating opportunities for them to build the Filipino dream, that is to go home to their own houses.

Finally when Mr. Kong was introduced, he wasn't actually endorsing Filinvest. He was more on sharing his ka-look-alikes, jokes, experiences, leadership, knowledge about filipino traits, family, money, money management, business, and his failures.

I honestly learned a lot of things from him since I am lost and despair for my career. I saw the relevance of how money can blind you and affect peoples lives, I saw how he values the importance of family. There were parental styles shared as well. It's quite funny that I had to listen to that when I was sitting beside my mother.

PLUS I really admire men who stick to their partners, I found him sweet when he introduced his wife and kids. He even said he finished high school in 6 years, with a PHD. Passing with High Difficulty.

All in all I had a great time with the community leaders in Dubai. You can see a lot of Filipinos packed inside the room, the seats were very limited, people were standing the whole evening yet the warmth, the love and the energy of the audience made the evening very magical.

God is good.

Shukran Katir Mr. Kong!

Mabuhay ang Pilipinas. Mabuhay ang Pinoy!

 

For those of you who wasn't able to see him last night, go to Abu Dhabi tonight til Friday! :)