So I woke up in the middle of the night feeling terrified and lonely. This is nothing new to me. I used to drink my worries away. But I don't drink that much anymore.
Clearly. I am very sensitive and fragile, not really obvious as my best friend told me. I am good at hiding. I use to hide inside the closet, as in literally and figuratively. My heart aches, I want to puke right now but my stomach is empty. I feel a burning sensation inside my throat. My head screams, throbbing head, please please un throb. My eyes hurt.
I state the serenity prayer. Three, four to ten times. I feel like crying again. Please stop thinking. Relax now self, breathe and now I am writing about it cause I can't and I do not know how to release this self inflicted stress. I hope writing about it vaguely can relieve my anxiousness about restlessness. But I don't even know how to love myself. Pray for me I feel miserable.
What have I done to myself. I love you July. Calm down.
WOOOSAH.
Clearly. I am very sensitive and fragile, not really obvious as my best friend told me. I am good at hiding. I use to hide inside the closet, as in literally and figuratively. My heart aches, I want to puke right now but my stomach is empty. I feel a burning sensation inside my throat. My head screams, throbbing head, please please un throb. My eyes hurt.
I state the serenity prayer. Three, four to ten times. I feel like crying again. Please stop thinking. Relax now self, breathe and now I am writing about it cause I can't and I do not know how to release this self inflicted stress. I hope writing about it vaguely can relieve my anxiousness about restlessness. But I don't even know how to love myself. Pray for me I feel miserable.
What have I done to myself. I love you July. Calm down.
WOOOSAH.
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