Marriage + Babbles

Some say marriages that last are those between people who have found a lot of common ground. A couple days ago my partner and I were talking about what we have in common. We found out that we do not have much in common. But on contrary to that isn't it that being in a relationship you guys should be capable of negotiating and compromising with each other? 

Everyday, I want to know her more. I want to get through life's stresses together, how can that be possible if I am leaving soon? 

We are engaged. Suweet. :) akala ko hihindi siyaaaa.... 

I think the benefit of having this kind of "engagement" tells the world and each other that we have plans to stay together and marry when we are finally ready.

We can't look up to celebrities as our model for relationships. But I still look up at Portia and Ellen. On the other hand we are all humans born to make mistakes. But that doesnt mean that we can make the same mistakes, always. We are all tasked with coping with human frailty and understanding the worst. It is up to you. "it depends on the situation". 
 
Whirlwind romance? I can't think of anything much cornier than a brand of a washing machine. 

I love my partner. All of me. 

Aisle 5

Retrouvailles (French)
The Happiness of meeting again after a long time.

-----

She smiled from a far, I faltered, then she faded. I try to recall what I saw, my confusion dissipates. I was half relieved and a little hysterical. I tried to shrug off what I was feeling, I looked at the shelves at aisle 5. I took a lot of bread, I do not need bread. I accidentally dropped a pack of sliced bread. She  catched the bread in perfect timing.

"Kamusta?"

I couldn't say anything, she changed a lot.  A few seconds later a little girl approached. She raised her arm to hold her hands. "I want ice cream po!".

"She looks just like you, I gotta go, it was nice seeing you, have a great day you two"

I went out of the store getting a pack of sliced bread. I felt a little shaky. Its been so long. My head slammed my steering wheel, was thinking of buying another pack of bread. I thought I only need one pack. Then again, I feel happy, I feel happy cause were both happy now.  I called my wife, I usually call her when I can't focus, she's my walking diary, my best friend. She answered.

"Heyyy where are you now? I miss you"
"On my way home, I love you"
"Hurry up, I love you too"
"I bought bread. I'll make toast."
"Yay! Hurry please"

-----

"Tita she's pretty, who is she?" she was eating vanilla ice cream.
"She was my best friend"
"Ohhh I have a best friend too!"
Tears started rolling from her cheeks. She hurried to wipe her tears before her nephew sees it.
 I feel happy, I feel happy cause were both happy now.

Stay

Our country has so much to give. Our greatest strength is our resources and our people. I have seen the most hard working people ever, that's us, Filipinos. Makes me think of why the hell our country is still on the kulelat side. Too much taxes, ugly roads, too much corruption, never ending poverty issues. I am sick of this. 

My heart is frowning, yes, I want to stay. But my head says save more abroad and go back soon. Soon enough when you can do the power of bills with BIR, settle with your partner and get your own bunk. I wish this motivation can stay with me. Help me God and our country. 

Clingy

Clingy (adj)
To remain close, emotionally attached, hold on, resist separation. To adhere like grasping, sticking, entwining.
 
We were at S&R yesterday. I was busy getting condiments. When I turned back, I lost track of her. I couldn't see her from the counters where I left her. I had a mini heart attack. I panicked. I turned right and looked left. Lo and behold, all I see is her in front of me standing distinguished amongst the rest. Entrancing. Fast approaching me. Her eyes, I fell for those eyes. I thought I lost her. I tried not to show uncontrollable wild uproars of my happy unicorn heart.

"Bakit ka tumatawa"

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To know how CLINGY you are click this LINK and have fun!

My result - KINDA CLINGY
You strike the perfect balance between being overbearing and laid-back when it comes to your GF. You enjoy the time you guys spend together but realize it's OK to be apart, too. You two have a great sense of trust in your relationship that makes you an amazing couple. Good for you!

Lonely Planet

I know about you and her
But you have no choice
You will stay with me
Listen to my silent plea

I know you can hear me

Please don't walk on by 

Stay here with me 

Kiss my lonely lips
I wont tell anyone
Not even her
Don't you dare walk away

Stay with me
Just close your eyes
we've both been hurt before
I don't want to be hurt anymore

Stay, let me love you
I am better than her
I am here
Let me show you how true I am for you

I'll always be here for you
no, I wont give up on us
I won't give up on this
you will always be the only one I want to kiss 

stay with me, hear my secret unvoiced prayer
In this lonely planet
I know I am your only one

You know me so well
Maybe that's how I fell

Silent Mode

Sa pagkakaalam ko hindi. Sinasarili ko na lang baka kasi maling akala o masyado lang ako nagiisip. Ilugar na lang at itabi ang pagbabaga ng damdamin. Shiyet. "Damdamin"

Sanay na akong ganito. Loob ang kulo. Tulog na lang ako o kaya mag eearphones na lang muna ako. So kaya ayun, sinusumpong ako, yun ang resulta.

Less talk. Less mistake/s(shuhada). Hindi rin kasi ako mahilig makipagtalo. Pero nakakainis din pag dumarating ako sa point na sana umimik man lang ako. Sana nadepensahan ko sarili ko. Nasaktan mo ako, kasinganito ganyan. Lalalalaaa and unicorns.

I chose silence. I find myself meditating not to make an outburst I can never take back. In silence I am always right, in silence I fear not to be rejected. Silence makes the actions louder. So pag ako nanahimik. Maaalarma ka. Mawiwindang ka. Mapapaisip ka. Pero pag wala naman talaga. E wala naman talaga.

Wala.

So she asked me why I laughed?

We were talking about what I ate for lunch and talking about it led into a serious matter about my health. Well, I sounded a bit childish though. On the other hand she sounded a bit scary. Eventually I went blank and distracted. AGAIN. I couldn't help it, my girl friend is really pretty especially when she's trying to explain something to me. I am somewhat amazingly stuck and fascinated. 

At the back of my mind I already know what she was about to say. As I stare at her it feels like dejavu. I am high lighting every word she says in my hand outs (Lecturing session with my girl friend 101). Then my head was suddenly like a karaoke, every word she says hit perfect notes. She stopped talking. I think I saw a wrinkle near her right eye brow. I laughed, a sudden feeling of inexplicable joy gets into my spine. Uncontrollable smiling occurred.

Why you do this to me. I love you Senyora. Pwede mag cash advance. *Clap Clap

Modus Pocus

The other day I was in Greenhills. I went to the Cellphone repair side cause my Blackberry died on me. I really thought it was just the battery, but unfortunately some technician said that my phone's IC unicorn, some part the heck I don't know needs to be replaced and he's billing me a thousand grand for an uncertain repair.  
Ano ka na kuya, why I pay for uncertain, what are you hilo?

OK. I want my phone back. I feel a little disappointed. I am not here in Manila to buy another phone, plus that BB was with me through good times and bad times. I had great service from that phone. I am still in the moving on phase, seriously, I was not prepared to let it go. Let it go, lalalalaaa... 

Anyway, I am not writing about my phone. This is about how I need to be extra careful with myself. When I was standing near the Cellphone repair guys, some dude, dropped a 10 peso coin.

I said "kuya ung barya mo na laglag" then some guy walked out in front of me and after a few seconds. I realized my super naive action.

Nasira ko yung modus operandi ni kuya. I am such a hero / accidental hero. Pano na lang kung ako ung nanakawan? Or papano kung naaksidente ako? Paano ako? Naisip ko yun bigla.

Selfishness and self love hit me. I felt a little lonely and scared for myself. I felt alone for a while. But I am used to be alone. Divert the feeling and be grateful. Less expectations, less hurt. But then again, I thank god, I know I am reliable to myself. He made me strong. This is the part where I meditate to eliminate negativity.  Just positivity this year. But as a human being sometimes I still think, I wanna date myself. kasi kilala ko na sarili ko and mnmnsk. labo.

Self love people. Love yourself. ohhh... In 6 days, ill be celebrating my monthsarry with MYSELF! weee! I am so proud and inlove with myself. (facepalm)