Feeling tired

I ran to catch the last train to etisalat, I was able to enter the male cabin, panting, gasping for air, I couldn't breath normally cause I smell bad pungent. A bunch of men staring at me as I lose my breath, not even one gentleman offered me a seat. I guess all of us are tired. Chivalry is so damn dead. As I stand close to them, hoping the next few minutes one of them could offer me a seat, I saw myself reflecting into the mirror. I see a quite different me, quite different. I imagined seeing myself 9 years ago, meeting my current self inside the trains. Have you been working? How are you? I couldn't answer her. I felt bad. The heck is wrong with me. I didn't notice 4 stations already passed, no gentleman offered their seats. I looked on my left and there was a seat.

"I feel really lonely, I could die."

VROOOOM!

*my dream CAR - FORD MUSTANG

Been waiting for UNISHA's message on when can I attend my next class in BDC(Belhasa Driving School). Apparently I quit on my instructor Roohi for power tripping with me. She was shouting at me the other day, about how I did my parallel parking. At first I was really good, we were good. After a few minutes, she eventually got mood swings on me which I was surprised all of a sudden because all she did at first was to praise me. So she was like "Get down and let's swap seats(not the exact words)". She made a demo of parallel parking, after two turns. Good job! voila!

She bumped the post and yes she just laughed her way out. I couldn't laugh, I was dead serious of replacing her. Which I DID! Now my license is taking too long. Mehn I wanna pass one take. I hope I wont get karma for complaining about her, but this is DUBAI. There's no place for incompetent people. This city ain't for the weak. I am planning to go to driving school tomorrow. Ill take the parking test, after three days. I WILL PASS. Claiming it already.

I need a car! Is so freekin HOT in here!

RIP Julia Buencamino

I read lot's of young people who decided to die than to fight. Especially young kids who were facing LGBT issues. Suicide is saddening. I too, had thoughts about it but I decided to face my problems. I am very lucky to have loving parents and supportive friends. I may have lost some friends and family about my gender preference, but I still have those who love me for who I am. This is me.

I felt sad reading Julia's suicide note, she is such a talented kid, she was really good in art. I felt tears while reading her note. I wanted to search for answers on what made her decide to just let her reasons die with her. But, there's no use in pin pointing what made her commit suicude. What triggered her is way out of my business. I can only hope and pray that this issue should be a calling for every single of us, christian or not, we should all love and respect others. 

Stop hating and judging. Leave all the negativity and everything to GOD. Our journey, our task is to show Gods love. We should all love one another. I just hope that she didn't kill herself and sought help from the community.

From now on, I will be an advocate against suicide and LGBT rights. 

"Let us be a generation that made love win." Excerpt from Mr Samonte, valedictorian of UP Los Banos.

Pampasaya. ROCK EN ROLL TO THE WORLD

Kuya inuman tayo! LOL 

Why Work Abroad?

Did you ever wonder why some Filipinos chose to work abroad? I asked my colleagues about this over coffee, some of the below comments are just my observation. These colleagues are the yuppies from Ages 23-28. 

1. There's no use putting all your efforts in the Philippines -                                              " I was working in an Engineering firm, my pay was PHP15000, I worked hard and only got a raise after 2 years."

"Walang increase!" 

"I did not feel the increase in my salary at all and there was no health insurance as well. Also the deductions from SSS, Pag ibig, Income tax is taking almost half of my salary - plus deduct the petrol expenses, parking fees in makati is so high, food, I can't even buy the things I want. "    

"Nobody wants to hire me, I feel incompetent in my own country" 

2. I am single parent 

"I disappointed my parents for being a mom at an early age, I need to earn more for my daughter's future and at least send money to my parents to take care of her"

3. I left my heart in Manila (Plus number 2) - WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO

"Iniwan ako ng bf ko of 5 years, pucha parang wala na kong maisip kung hindi umalis and start a new sa ibang bansa, malay mo foreigner pala ang para saakin" 

4. Wanna earn 4x my current MBS (Monthly Basic Salary) - FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE

"If you were born poor, you want to be rich, I wanna buy what I want but yun nga, hindi naman ako makakabili ng iphone kung server ako sa pinas, diba?" 

"I wanna buy a house, I am sick of renting and moving from one place to another, so I went here to save and earn so I can invest on a condo" 

"Gusto ko mag travel kun saan saan" 

"Mainet jan, mahirap mag commute, ayoko na mag jeep mausok." 

5. I don't want to be in a LDR(Long Distance Relationship)

"Ayoko malayo sa gf ko, hindi ko na kaya ang isa pang taon na wala siya"

"I suspect that my husband will have an affair, he's not bad looking, so I followed him here"

----

Some of the yuppies started a plan to stop being an ofw for 5-10 years, some are still working, still searching and wouldn't want to go back in the Philippines. Well at least we have plans. I believe number 4, is the best answer for yuppies like me. We want to be able to reach financial independence. 

We are already considered as modern day heroes, our remittances generates revenues which and should make the Philippines better. I guess somehow, I hope sooner or later the Philippines will turn out to be one of the best cities in Asia again, maybe 2nd to Japan like we used to or maybe better than Japan. We do not expect a salute when we return to the Philippines. We just want to see our families, have a chance to live and grow a better life. And we hope by that time, we can look back and say, we helped our country by our remittances.

Sure. 

Almost

10 days to go - pay day
17 days to go - I am a year older

Can't wait ;D

...................

I feel like nobody understands me today. I feel like everyone is preoccupied with their wants. I could use a shoulder to cry on. In my situation, I only have this blog to vent out. I will pour it all out.

Everything went well until, I felt emotionally drained today. I have been looking at peoples blessings instead of counting mines. I have been envying other's achievements instead of improving mines. I have been withdrawing myself to people cause I cannot seem to catch up with their financial freedom or they might make fun of me. They might make fun of my things, my investments and physical attributes. I have been so fragile to other peoples statements. I have been working hard, so that I could never feel belittled. I have been battling with the people around me. I have been defensive on so many things. I have been pressuring myself to be better. I have been depriving myself. I have been torturing myself. I thought I need to feel devastated to be better. To strive more.

I knew I was doing well. That my insecurities will pass. It will pass. Until I find out that my hard work isn't good enough....

I wish I have all the power in the world to make anyone and everyone happy.

But then again this shall pass. I will TRY to understand. But what can you do if you feel like the unconditional love is coming to an end?

-----

ANG SAKIT SAKIT. Pero sige lang. Party lang. Hooooo...... ANG SAKIT ;'(

And my head goes BSB

"I Want It That Way"

Yeah

[Brian:]
You are my fire
The one desire
Believe when I say
I want it that way

[Nick:]
But we are two worlds apart
Can't reach to your heart
When you say
That I want it that way

[Chorus:]
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

[AJ:]
Am I your fire
Your one desire
Yes I know it's too late
But I want it that way

[Chorus:]
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say
I want it that way

[Kevin:]
Now I can see that we're falling apart
From the way that it used to be, yeah
No matter the distance
I want you to know
That deep down inside of me...

[Howie:]
You are my fire
The one desire
You are
You are, you are, you are

Don't wanna hear you say
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake (don't wanna hear you say)
I never wanna hear you say (oh, yeah)
I want it that way

Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Tell me why
Ain't nothin but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say (don't wanna hear you say)
I want it that way
Tell me why
Ain't nothin' but a heartache
Ain't nothin' but a mistake
Tell me why
I never wanna hear you say (never wanna hear you say)
I want it that way

'Cause I want it that way