Some of my friends already have three kids. Others have one or two. Some just got married. Some found themselves in ways they never expected. Life really does take everyone down different paths, and that’s okay.
As for me? I just want abs… and to make more money.
But every now and then, the “what ifs” creep into my mind.
Do I really want kids?
Honestly, the only child I feel capable of raising right now is my inner child. Funny, but true. In this economy, in this world, raising a child is a huge responsibility. I can imagine the sleepless nights, the expensive schools, the constant worrying. Even picturing myself calming a crying baby feels unfamiliar. Maybe parenthood just isn’t for me. At least, not right now.
I do have two cats, though, and I love them with all my heart.
When I look back, I realize how far I’ve come. I’m driving the car I once only dreamed about. I built a career I never imagined I’d have. I’m surrounded by amazing colleagues.
Most importantly, I’m married to the best person I could ever ask for—someone who loves me deeply and genuinely cares for me. I have a family that loves me without seeing me as an investment or expecting me to carry everyone’s burdens.
These days, I can buy things that used to feel like impossible luxuries. I celebrate promotions. I enjoy the little things. I feel content. And somewhere along the way, I learned to truly love myself.
I know life isn’t perfect, and I’m still human. I still overthink. I still wonder about the future. But today, my heart is full.
Above all, I thank God for every blessing, every lesson, every closed door, and every opportunity.
Lord, thank You for everything. Please bless me with a long life—not just to enjoy it, but to help others whenever I can.
Almost forty… and for the first time in a long time, I’m genuinely grateful for the life I’m living
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