It's Okay to be selfish

Never forget who was there with you when no one else was.

If you are saying YES to others make sure you are not saying NO to yourself(Paulo Coelho).

-----

I forgot who was I talking to but he/she said that when you are lacking or you want something, you should give to others. That way the favor would be returned to you. The science or logic of this would be like you are sending a message to the universe to be able to receive future abundance. If you are spiritual, you'd rather explain this issue in the most biblical manner like saying that God hears everything and he will surely give you something in return soon. Just pray.

Sure it feels good to help. I love to help and sometimes it make me feel plentiful and grateful for the things I have.

So, I am a nice person (been working on being less nice). People ask me for things a lot. Regardless on how the request is or how busy I am. Just a mere fact that it has been asked of me, I feel obligated and obliged to drop anything and help. This sickness, this comes a high price of my own depletion and self neglect. Sometimes I feel like I could've been a doctor or a nurse cause I care a lot and I tend to forget about myself.

I am never afraid to help. In fact I'd love to help as long as I can. Except on monetary issues. I will help you in anything but I won't and I can't lend money(My golden rule). I guess I learned a lot from my father who loves to "help" and lend money. Because he always ends up scratching his scalp for not getting anything in return. Okay, he's out of the story, the thing here is. I just don't like lending money. Money to me is such an evil thing. It ruins everyone in any aspect.

I can help others by giving donations, advises, opinions and time. I make sure I wont step in anyone's foot. I try to joke around, make things comical cause I believe in happiness is the best medicine. When I help people I make sure they wont abuse that kindness I give. That's why I limit my friends. I limit expectations, attachments and care.

All in all, I just happen to find out that I am going through a phase where my foundation is a bit unstable, and I have to be selfish and get myself stabilized before I can assist others. I am trying to think clearly how my do-not-help-anyone policy fit into this "it's okay to be selfish". Oh yes, I am not gonna move. I'm going to be selfish, and say no if I need to.

Do I make any sense? I don't care. Jeez.