I have let you in my life a couple of times. I have forgiven and let go of all of the hurtful things you did to me. Yet you still have the audacity to tell me to face my problems, well fuck you. Fight me. I was never a victim of my own issues, I face them, I don't shut off, and I don't fucking run away like you. So back off and I don't ever want to hear from you.
Yes, I miss the child but you, no, never. You fucking liar.
Your love, your love Your love is my drug Your love, your love, your love
Maybe I need some rehab Or maybe just need some sleep I got a sick obsession I'm seein' it in my dreams
I'm lookin' down every alley I'm makin' those desperate calls I'm stayin' up all night hopin' Hittin' my head against the wall
What you got, boy, is hard to find I think about it all the time I'm all strung out, my heart is fried I just can't get you off my mind
Because your love, your love Your love is my drug Your love, your love, your love I said your love, your love Your love is my drug Your love, your love, your love
Won't listen to any advice Momma's tellin' me I should think twice But left to my own devices I'm addicted, it's a crisis
My friends think I've gone crazy My judgment's gettin' kinda hazy My status is gonna be affected If I keep it up like a lovesick crack-head
What you got boy is hard to find I think about it all the time (all the time) I'm all strung out, my heart is fried I just can't get you off my mind
Because your love, your love Your love is my drug Your love, your love, your love I said your love, your love Your love is my drug Your love, your love, your love
I don't care what people say The rush is worth the price I pay I get so high when you're with me But crash and crave you when you leave
So I gotta question Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement? Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum? Is my love Your drug Huh your drug Huh your drug Huh your drug Is my love your drug? (what you got boy)
Because your love, your love Your love is my drug Your love, your love, your love I said your love, your love Your love is my drug Your love, your love, your love
Because your love, your love Your love is my drug Your love, your love, your love I said your love, your love Your love is my drug Your love, your love, your love
Hey! Hey! So... Your love, your love Your love, your love... Your love, your love, your love
Dalawang beses ko lang naisipan ikasal, dalawang beses equates sa dalawang tao. Pilit kong iniintindi kung bakit. Bakit sila talaga ung naisip ko. It took me days to reflect. So eto na talaga ung mga taong GINUSTO ko mapasaken. Like ginusto ko maging akin lang... #facepalm
Hindi ko na rin maintindihan dahil na rin siguro sa bugso ng damdamin. Ung unang taong ginusto ko talagang pakasalan ay isa sa mga ex ko. Well ung pangatlong ex ko, unfortunately. Hindi ko kinaya ang pagsubok na hinarap namen. Partly its not all on me, maybe, kasi it was a long distance relationship. Mahirap mag kaintindihan, at hindi ma align ang objectives sa buhay, so paiklien na lang naten. Irreconcilable difference. bwaahaha!
Me bwan na naiisip ko siya, lalo na nung Miss U. Feeling ko kasi hawig niya si MS Michelle Dee. hahah! illusyon ko nga naman. Pangarap ko kasi mag ka beauty queen na gf. hahahah! Kamusta na kaya siya. Kaso para ano pa? mukha naman na siyang masaya. Gustong gusto siya ng daddy ko. OMG, sobra pa sa higit. Maybe siya kasi ung unang gf ko na formal kong pinakilala as GF. Nung panahong kami, masaya ako, pero nakakapikon ung dahilang biglang me "pero".
Nagpropose ako sa paraang alam kong hindi niya ako hihindian, hahaha kaming dalawa lang ang nakakaalam non. Nasakanya pa nga ung ring. OMG oo naubos halos ang ipon ko nun college para doon. Kasi balak ko ibigay sa isang deserving na tao. Deserving naman siya nun panahon na yun. Kaso hindi talaga eh... Cancers like me we nurture things. We care a lot. Kaso sumobra ung pagka Virgo niya. Hindi ko kinaya ung pressure sa pag intindi. Pinagdarasal ko pa din siya. Kung asan man siya sana asa magandang kinalalagyan na siya. Sana pag nakasalubong ko siya, wala nang sakit ung makita ko sa mga mata niya. Di ko alam kung gusto pa ni lord na magkabalikan kami. Pero sige bahala na si universe.
Ito ung pinaka malala. Shuta. Ung pangalawang gusto kong pakasalan. Hindi ko ex. Hindi ko close. Hindi ko kaklasi nun college. Pero same batch nun college. We know a couple of friends na connected. I was able to dig deeper on what she wants in life, gusto ko ung mindset niya. But Sagittarius siya, another fire sign. Adventurous not really homey like me. Pero ang weird, hindi ko gusto ung pala murang tao, pero sknya, natatawa na lang ako. The way she carried herself was simply, cute and amazing. Natulala na lang ako. Gusto ko ilabas ung binili kong engagement ring nung kinukunan ko siya ng litrato sa may wings of mexico. Extrovert siya, ako me pagka introvert. Opposites attract ba talaga, I tried to doubt myself a lot of times. I tried so bad, pero ung guilt na may gf na ako, at siya.. :(
Bakit ngyon lang kasi siya dumating? So eto, haha masakit, but party lang. Pwede ba yong, basta ko na lang naramdaman. Basta siya gusto ko. So bahala nanaman si universe.
Click click, the sound I
heard when I accidentally bump her arm. I felt a soft pinch, I felt happy, I
suddenly joked, "May chemistry?" and I felt and heard the clicking
sound again. Like cupid was making its way into my heart, slowly, surely. It
felt so good. I shyly ignored how it felt and smiled on the floor. What
was that, self? I cannot be, I cannot, ugh, even get myself to stop thinking
about it, no, her.
Static electricity is the result of an imbalance
between negative and positive charges in an “object”. These charges can build
up on the surface of an object until they find a way to be released or
discharged.
I do know that I may not be a
renowned director, a daughter of a rich politician, or even a politician, I know
I am a little introvert; I may not be significant enough to stand out. But, one
part of me is not giving up on that hope that maybe, just a tiny hope that
someday, she’ll get to think of me again and message me to meet up and say
“shutacca, let’s get married already”.
I have lost my mind and this is new
to me.
How sweet and painful it is to like
someone who cannot be yours
This line has been hanging in my head for quite some time.
Realized that my 2021 until now is a healing year.
Healing, from a narcissistic person. Healing from all the pain she brought to me and my family. Healing from the crying and cheating she did. Accepting the fact that
she wasn’t a human as all. Deciding not to speak, or hear a sound about it.
Until now, my heart believes she was not even a she, or a pronoun. That was the
most devastating experience I ever had. I still pray, hard, to forgive myself and her. Besides, we are all human.
Some of you might think that I am not over this person, no, you are truly wrong. This kind of healing is tough and hard, it involves a to of psycho therapies and medicines. I am proud that I am able to speak about my mental condition. Nonetheless, I am so happy to walk through it all with the new love of my life. I am so grateful for all the love and care she gives me.
So glad that my current partner is the most loving and caring person. I hope she is the one. May we all find someone who is good for our souls. Someone who is kind. Who is loving and contented?
And now that I am 34, I can't believe this. I thank god for another chance, another life. May he grant me more love and forgiveness in life. Like my favorite hero in ML, Rafaela: Healing for everyone!
Ngayon ko lang naalala na may personal blog ako. Buti naalaa ko ito buksan ngayong at naisipang mag-sulat muli. Sayang naman to kung hindi ko magamit itong blog ko na nagsilbing saksi sa lahat ng aking pinagdaanan at pinagdaraanan.
Me napuna kasi akong litrato sa linkedin, na naisipan kong isiwalat sa blog ko. Although hindi naman ito sinabi ng aking ama, it mattered to me. Kaya pala...
Kaya pala hindi ka makatulog na maayos gabi-gabi, maliban sa hikbi at hilik ko gabi gabi na nirarason mo kaya hindi ka makatulog. Ayan, karma mo pala iyon sa lahat ng ninakawan mo ng pera, oras, tiwala at pag-ibig. Dika talaga tao. Scammer ka, Kahit ilang beses ko isipin ang mga mabubuti mong gnawa, pero meron nga ba? Demonyo ka. Wala kang puso. Pag-kat sarili mo lang ang iniisip mo. Galing na galing ka sa sarili mo ano? Alam ko pinangako kong wala ka nang maririnig saaken, last na talaga ito. So "back off"... Wag kang pretentious, kala mo naman hahabulen kita, ganda ka?
At bakit ako babalik sa taong dahilan ng aking pagkaka-dapa? Ang bobo ko naman kung babalikan kita. Masaya na ako at wag mo ako idadamay sa miserable mong buhay.
