My Birthday Gift for HANDSOME BOY DES

12/22/12
Jet Lag - Simple Plan ft Natasha Beddingfield

Maiba Naman.

Sige, dahil puro kabitteran naisusulat ko. Jokes naman muna.

Tenentenenten tennn! (oi kinanta niya)

                                          ZE SISTER, MOTHER AND ME @ BKK Circa 2010

Berts: Mommy? pano pag nagpakilala ulit ako ng lalaki???
Mom: It's about time!!!(british accent)
Berts: ahh? bwahahah!!! Pano kung girl ulit?
Mom: sabi mo nga not everything is FOREVER. People change? (ngongo accent)
Berts: So pabor ka sa lalaki???
Mom: It's your choice(british accent).........................

*superfunnehMOMMYmoments

                                     My younger sister Attty. Pixie beth N. Veranga LLB

Ate; Jul? san nag law school si Pixie?
Berts: Sa U.P.?
Ate: OO, pero sang branch?
Berts: Baguio???
Ate: U.P. SILIMAN! ha ha haaaa!  XD

*ateeeehhh!!! GAHHH!!!!

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Q: Ano ang sabi ng bangus nang mamamatay na siya.
A: I'm daing!
--------------
Q: Ano ang sabi ng isda nang hiwain siya sa gitna?
A: I'm tuna
--------------
Q: Ano ang tawag kapag sinuot mo ang kanang sapatos sa
kaliwang paa at ang kaliwang sapatos sa kanang paa?
A: Malicious
---------------
Q: What's the difference between a kiss, a car, and a
monkey
A: A kiss is so dear, a car is for you dear, a monkey
is you my dear.
---------------
Q: What will happen to a wooden car with a wooden
wheel and a wooden engine?
A: It wooden start.
--------------------------
1) KNOW the movie "MULAN?" Part four na yon! First
episode nun "Mulog," then "Midlat," Tapos "Mambon,"
saka pa lang "Mulan" Coming soon na ang "Magyo," Next
ang "Maha," finally "Maraw"... ak magkanapos nyun,
ngongo kha nha yin!!!
---------------------
2) Dear Itay,
Padalhan mo ako ng pera kasi ang mga damit ko
pinagkakain ng mga daga.
Dear Anak,
Wala akongpera. Kung gusto mo, meron dito pusa.
---------------------
3) Isang babae bumili ng asukal. Inabot ng tindera,
pero sabi ng babae,"Miss, asin itong binigay mo sa
akin."

Hindi, asukal yan. Minarkahan lang naming"Asin" para
hindi langgamin.
----------------------
Ngongo dictionary:
CATTLE - dun nakatira ang printeta at printipe
MELT - yun ang sinusuot sa mewang
EFFORT - dun nag-la-land ang efflane
STATUE - ikaw ba yan?
-----------------------
ANAK: ' Tay ! , anong pagkakaiba ng Supper at Dinner?
ITAY: Anak, pag kumain tayo sa labas, Dinner 'yun. Pag
dito tayo kakain ng luto ng Mommy mo,
Suffer yon!!
--------------------
M'AM: Inday, sa susunod, ayokong pinakikialaman mo ang
condom namin ng Sir mo!
INDAY: M'am, hwag kayong magbibintang! Di kami sanay
ni Sir gumamit niyan! Sobra kayo!
----------------
MRS: Lolokohin ko mister ko. Magpapanggap akong
pick-up girl.
Pagkita kay Mister: Hi Pogi! AVAILABLE ako ngayon....
MR: Ayoko sa yo!! Kamukha mo misis ko!!
----------------
MR: Doc, duwag ako magpabunot ng ngipin.
DR: No problem, eto whiskey, uminom ka!
Mister, uminom ng whiskey)
DR: O, matapang ka na ba?
MR: Oo Doc, pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko gugulpihinko!
----------------
WHEN I was lost you were there,
When I was down you were there.
When I was heartbroken you were there.
When I got really sick you were there.
ABA , hindi kaya ikaw ang malas sa buhay ko?
----------------
A Filipino lady was taking the exam for US
naturalization and citizenship.
She aced the test. The examiner said, "Now, the last
part of the exam is a vocabulary test. Can you spell
the word 'Window?"

The lady said, "W-I-N-D-O-W.";

"Ah, very good,", the examiner said. "Now, use it in a
sentence."

"WINDOW I get my citizenship papers?"
------------------
Anong saging ang mataba? SABA
Anong saging ang maliit? SENYORITA
Yung sinusubo pati balat?.. T? sirit na?
Esep..esep..!
Ano pa eh di TURON!!! Huwag esep sama!
------------------
Pulis: Bayad ko sa kape, o.
Chinese: Aba , aftah 25 years, bakit ka bayad?
Pulis: Utos ni Chief, wala nang kotong.
Chinese: Aba sige, simula ngayon hindi na ako dura sa
kape mo.
-----------------
Mare 1: Naku mare, ang gaganda ng mga anak mo!
Mare 2: Talaga, mare! Hay naku kung asawa ko lang ang
aasahan ko hindi mangyayari yan!
-----------------
Wife: Pag may problema ko, kahit gaano
kabigat,nawawala kapag nakikita ko ang picture mo.
Husband: Sabi ko na nga ba talagang mahal na mahal mo
ko.
Wife: Tinitingnan ko lang ang picture mo tapos
sinasabi ko sasarili ko na WALA NG PROBLEMA NA MAS
HIHIGIT PA DITO.
----------------
Anak: 'Nay, puede na ba akong magbra? Nay, kinse na po
ako, puede na ba?
Ina : Hoy! Joselito! Tigilan mo nga ako!!!!

Thanks to you Vinton Cerf.

Continuation to my ASAN KA NA CAMILLE DE VILLA SANO entry.

I googled(it's a word) the above stated name. :)))

I found out that she studied Psychology at MSU-Iligan City. Mailed their registrars office. Unfortunately, I did not receive a REPLY! MY GOSH GOLLY BANANA! Those admin officers. *kakagalit. Then a friend told me that there's this MSU - Iligan Facebook group. I joined the group and one student replied Camille's link.

OMG! Akala ko dead kid yung childhood friend ko for not having an FB account, yun pala unsearchable. NAMAN KASI BERTING! Messaged her immediately.

So yeaaahh! I found her. We are connected, AGAIN!

END.

My Attempts: Coming Out

2004 DECEMBER

My sister went to KSA for Chritmas vacation. She happened to sleep in my room and tabi kami sa single bed ko. I was about to tell her that I am in a weird relationship with my first love. But I was really afraid and scared. Plus I wasn't that sure back then. :))

Berts: Ate?
Sister: Baket?
Berts: Ah wala. Sarap ng shawarma noh! XD

2005 Probably SEPTEMBER
After watching an MMK episode with mom. The one with Fanny Serrano in it - Vinn Santiago Story.

Berts: Mommy, bakla din ako........ huhuhuh!
Mom: E paputol ka na rin!
Berts: (hee..heee...)

2011 APRIL
In SG, Diageo Bar with my sister's friends. I think I was already drunk when she came in late. So she wanted to catch up.

Sister: OHH! Go Straight!
Ate Chel: OK! STRAIGHT!!!!
Berts: WAIT! Hindi ako straight!
*LOL*  Alcohol is needed for extra courage.

SUDDEN BURST OF HAPPINESS

Pre-fireWORKS! XD

2012 MARCH 2
This was my coming out entry SANA. After writing it, I immediately called my sister

Berts: Ate? Busy ka ba?
Sister: Bakit ka umiiyak??
Berts: I am so sorryyy.. *sobs
Sister: Anung problema? Sinong umaway sayo?!?!?
Berts: Ate TOMBOY ako... *sobs #*fireworks
Sister: Jul, matagal ko nang alam, hindi ka lang nagsasabi, wag ka nga umiyak! para kang baboy!

BOOOOM!

Mom: Nabasa ko na yung blog mo.
Berts: I am soryyy kung nadisappoint ka.....
Mom: Tanggap naman kita anak. Wag ka umiyak. Pakatatag ka.

BOOOOOM! BOOOM!

Dad: Kindly delete that lonely blog... blah blah blah........ garments blah blah flowery unicorns and poof whatever daw :)) And yun...

Ate Joy: No need to explain. I love you jbeth!

Friend: AMEN! Welcome to the family!

ANG SAYUH SAYUHHH!

I Guess I'll Never Love Again.

I am good at pushing people. I am persuasive. I am convincing, but when it comes to my self I can't be pushed. Maybe I want someone like me for now or maybe someone like her. 

For some, running away from this kind of love is bravery. I thought its cowardish. Cause society thinks the normal cycle would be a boy+girl. I am trying to understand every angle every motive. So that makes me a masochist.

I am a masochist. Apparently my feelings are constant. I over think. I get stressed on my own. Cause this kind of love saw my best and worst; stayed at your most beautiful and ugliest good bye. We listened to our irrational and dumbest babble. We sit for hours of silence. You can't blame me. 

I know I could never ever fall the way I fell for her. 

I guess I'll never love again. 

When It Was Still Me

I hugged you close to me. I can still remember how you baby talk and said "I love you". That night we talked about our future, to reside somewhere else but Manila. We talked as if we know what's ahead of us. That we would stay indefinitely and unconditionally. I managed to pull a joke that I should be the housewife. We would cuddle together and I told you that I will love you everyday. We talked about having five dogs or perhaps we could adopt. We talked about your family, how they could disown you. But I made you feel that they won't be mad for long. It will get better. We talked about cars. We talked about anything and everything.

It was always, You + Me = WE.

Suddenly, our future went blur. We were happy. Cause you let them in our world that made me disappear completely. I guess your phase has an expiration. I thought we were magic. 

My lips kissed your forehead, from there we feel each others breath. We chose to laze around my couch and watch dvds instead of partying and getting wasted. I feel so blessed and contented having just YOU beside me. 

I thought I can plan and share all of me. 

And it all happened probably a thousand days ago. When it was still me. 

UAE FRIENDS

HELLOOOO UAE FRIENDS! 

I just had a call from +971508393721 from a certain Mohammad Ikbal and I was informed that I won blah blah 500,000 AED in the National Prize Draw from Etisalat. He sound scripted and couldn't understand much of his accent, maybe he's Indian, IDK. He also asked me to verify/check my sim card's SN and call him back for prize details. But I checked online first for such raffle draw and saw its a scam. ALL SCAM! So please don't give anyone such details related to money and all sorts that are personal to you. 


Have a blessed Holiday! :) KEEP SAFE!


Berts