My Silent Plea

I have always been a person who looks after others. I have this nurturing part of me that is always on the go to take in charge, I have been giving what I can just to make sure that everyone around me is happy/contented and or overly satisfied. I go over and beyond their expectations. I work hard to give all. I love deeply. 

Until one day, I realized that no one actually does the same thing for me and it breaks me so bad. 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not expecting them to return the favor. I did that because that’s the love language I speak. But I realized, for once, that I also have this desire to feel loved. And I guess, everyone deserves that. To be loved. To be given the best because you fucking deserve it. To somehow be spoiled and hear ‘yeses’. So I prayed and waited. 

People came into my life, but I was easily deceived into feeling, “this is the one” just because I have this timeline. 

Then again, I realized that I was just getting the bare minimum (and at some point, it was even hard to get the bare minimum). Lalo na dito sa UAE. No one has ever gave the same effort to me, except my loving mother. So I got tired and almost gave up on the hopes of it. Still, I prayed.

I pray to have the kind of love that has peace, security, and joy. I pray for someone who’s sure about every inch of me. 

Someone who will pursue me. I pray that you bless this person's heart so this person can love me the way You want me to be loved. And I pray that I become the person You intended for this person to also feel loved. 

So if one day. This person came into my arms. I want this person to know that I prayed for her/him so bad. I will continuously pray for that love. And I hope that the love I will give mirrors God’s love for you and us my love. I lift it all lord. He knows whats best for me, I know he hears my silent plea.