7/31/15

Anyare paps?

Dear Brother,

Whatever happened to you?

I suddenly thought about you when I took time to look at your facebook account, I admit I was a bit scared of what your are posting. And boy you post too much, I am not asking you to stop posting, instead, have a little time to think before you post, please do not get me wrong. I care, if only I could see you now and talk to you. Try to make things a little lighter. I am not sure what your motives are, but I guess you are in pain. You know better than me, life isn't suppose to be draggy. But I pray for you to forgive the people who hurt you and just move on. Just let it go. It is not a cake walk but as a friend, I'll help you crash and burn. If only I have the guts to send you this letter. #facepalm


Berting


My Struggles in UAE

First of all. I don't want my blog to be blocked because I will be very detailed with my struggles here in UAE. I will also tackle sensitive issues. Just read behind the lines. Haha! 

1. I used to have a very short hair, I looked very tomboy when I arrived here way back 2012. Me staying here was unexpected and I was lucky enough to be sponsored by my mother - which would mean I am holding a residence visa under her name and there's no struggle for me to look for a job to be a legal alien in this country(uae) and have an employees visa. Looking for a job was one of the hardest thing I ever did. Being Gay or Lesbian is not really tolerable here. In my opinion you have to set aside the real you in the corporate world. So, PLM(People like me ) should try to practice wearing pearls and make up(just apply make up a little). Try to also practice wearing skirts and dresses. 
*I see some lgbts here but they try to keep it discreet, no loud gay barks, I suppose. 

2. Bathroom confusion - it happened a lot of times even in my own country. I try not to look at peoples eyes coming inside the ladies toilet. I feel uncomfortable being looked at. I hate being asked to go on the male bathroom.

3. Train cabin confusion - in RTA trains it is strictly prohibited for men to stay on he 2nd and 3rd cabin, these cabins are for ladies only cabin. I was once asked to move away to the 3rd cabin. But I was wearing a hoodie. Jeez. So I removed my hoody and nod. *babae pa rin ako! #lol 

3. I came here with a limited amount of money - it is good to have my mother around but as an adult you feel shy and disappointed asking for money and seeing your old friends in FB get to have their dream jobs, their dream shoes. You see them getting engaged and married. In short I was very insecure. My dear, do not look at other's blessings instead count your blessings and be grateful. Everyone has their own struggles. Never ever ever compare.

4. Where to broken hearts go? in DUBAI! Indeed. I went here to move on from an ex, it is true that time heals. In Dubai, I learned that this city aint for the weak. It is a city of challenges and survival. Competition, experience and pride. Love yourself and invest on yourself, take gym lessons, classes to improve your skills, join a dance club. BTW, I joined into a ballroom dance org, do not ask. It was fun.  #facepalm 

5.You feel very sad seeing old friends get together in FB. Bwiset. It makes me sad to see my college friends get together, you wish to see a space in their photos, oh I could've been there or they could've called me in skype at least I get a spot there. *sobs  

6. When you go out on short walks to buy groceries - at walang TRICYCLE! Demmet it is so hot in here - especially in Ramadhan. On the other hand it is too cold in Ber months. My goodness gracious. Plus for example you need only one band-aid, you buy the whole box! *walang tinge or small box - jeez. Filipino foods are often found in groceries, but the taste is quite different. Then you'll feel home sick. *sobs  

7. SAND STORMS - I am always allergic to dust. Prepare your antihistamine, goggles and hanky. Dubai has a tropical desert climate - summers are extremely hot and humid. Whenever there's a climate change from summer to winter or vice versa I get really - really sick. 

8. When you get sick - you need a medical certificate for work and it cost 60Aed(I usually ask the doctor to give me 3 days rest to maximize the fee of 20Aed per day). Here in Dubai - they have their own system generated medical certificate. Unlike in the Philippines - the doctors just write the medical certificates in a paper. Plus if you are on a budget and you get sick - consultation would cost around 100aed. With a total of 160AED, no medicines yet. So if you are looking for a job here in Dubai, please aim for a company that provides a health card. 

9. When you are ill and bedridden you wish someone would take care of you. Mother is of course at work.  But you just wish that one significant other would look after you. But no. I have also been in a phase where I had to pull myself and buy food and panadol. *self pity *sobs 

10. You feel really scared with police presence - even if they are just standing in one corner of a metro station.

11. Your birthday feels like an ordinary day. Everyone greets you in FB on 12MN UAE time just to greet you. After the last greeting, you will go back on your routine in your life abroad as a corporate slave. *tragic 

12. There was a time I questioned my faith, and I found myself reading the bible and praying the rosary. Praying is never corny. God knows when to say yes. :) Just wait and he will give your hearts desires. 

13. I had no idea when to come home - because there were no reasons to come home before. haha! 

13. When I miss my adorable dogs - Sam(RIP) and Pixie

14. When you are so thirsty and you cannot eat or drink outside in RAMADHAN! 

15. When somebody borrows money to you - I feel obligated but I never lend money more than 50aed. 

16. You miss your partner's Birthday and first anniversary. But I am glad she is till with me, :) :) :) 
 
17. Apparently want something that cannot be bought here in Dubai from Manila. This is such a nightmare. 

18. There is no unlit txt and calls from Etisalat and Du. I am an Etisalat user by the way, they friggin deduct your load automatically. 

19. Damn, language barrier. I can not understand Indian accent sometimes. They talk to fast, and I just have to look at their lips which gives them the wrong signals. *facepalm

20. People think of me as a fresh graduate. I look young, maybe because I am asian? mehh, I hate it. I demand respect. haha! 

Tomorrow is another day in this city, another set of struggles to meet. I know I have yet to fulfill the things that brought me here. If God would gave me a choice where I would wan't to be now, I will still chose to live abroad. I am very lucky I have my mother with me. Unlike the other ofws here who struggle working here to provide money for their families. On the other hand it is no joke being away from my family and friends left in the Philippines.




7/17/15

Feeling tired

I ran to catch the last train to etisalat, I was able to enter the male cabin, panting, gasping for air, I couldn't breath normally cause I smell bad pungent. A bunch of men staring at me as I lose my breath, not even one gentleman offered me a seat. I guess all of us are tired. Chivalry is so damn dead. As I stand close to them, hoping the next few minutes one of them could offer me a seat, I saw myself reflecting into the mirror. I see a quite different me, quite different. I imagined seeing myself 9 years ago, meeting my current self inside the trains. Have you been working? How are you? I couldn't answer her. I felt bad. The heck is wrong with me. I didn't notice 4 stations already passed, no gentleman offered their seats. I looked on my left and there was a seat.

"I feel really lonely, I could die."



















7/14/15

VROOOOM!

*my dream CAR - FORD MUSTANG


Been waiting for UNISHA's message on when can I attend my next class in BDC(Belhasa Driving School). Apparently I quit on my instructor Roohi for power tripping with me. She was shouting at me the other day, about how I did my parallel parking. At first I was really good, we were good. After a few minutes, she eventually got mood swings on me which I was surprised all of a sudden because all she did at first was to praise me. So she was like "Get down and let's swap seats(not the exact words)". She made a demo of parallel parking, after two turns. Good job! voila!

She bumped the post and yes she just laughed her way out. I couldn't laugh, I was dead serious of replacing her. Which I DID! Now my license is taking too long. Mehn I wanna pass one take. I hope I wont get karma for complaining about her, but this is DUBAI. There's no place for incompetent people. This city ain't for the weak. I am planning to go to driving school tomorrow. Ill take the parking test, after three days. I WILL PASS. Claiming it already.

I need a car! Is so freekin HOT in here!


7/13/15

RIP Julia Buencamino


I read lot's of young people who decided to die than to fight. Especially young kids who were facing LGBT issues. Suicide is saddening. I too, had thoughts about it but I decided to face my problems. I am very lucky to have loving parents and supportive friends. I may have lost some friends and family about my gender preference, but I still have those who love me for who I am. This is me.

I felt sad reading Julia's suicide note, she is such a talented kid, she was really good in art. I felt tears while reading her note. I wanted to search for answers on what made her decide to just let her reasons die with her. But, there's no use in pin pointing what made her commit suicude. What triggered her is way out of my business. I can only hope and pray that this issue should be a calling for every single of us, christian or not, we should all love and respect others. 

Stop hating and judging. Leave all the negativity and everything to GOD. Our journey, our task is to show Gods love. We should all love one another. I just hope that she didn't kill herself and sought help from the community.

From now on, I will be an advocate against suicide and LGBT rights. 

"Let us be a generation that made love win." Excerpt from Mr Samonte, valedictorian of UP Los Banos.



Pampasaya. ROCK EN ROLL TO THE WORLD


Kuya inuman tayo! LOL