I can’t believe it happened, we saw the worst versions of us. I can’t believe the pain that I am feeling right now, losing my mother and at the same time losing all the means of love for this person I chose to be with.
It scares me, that I might not be able to see her anymore. AND it also hurts me that I might have to let go soon. Letting her go, makes my heart cringe, I know it would
hurt a lot. But how do you heal in such situation? Knowing
that she was a constant reminder of how I lost my mother?
Can anyone but her help me in my distress? all I want is to remove this stress? I know she is hurting too. But how do you heal in such a demeaning situation? I am in pain....
It has been almost every day trying not do self-harm. Thinking about all the things she said over and over again. Do I even deserve them? Do we deserve them? Or do we deserve to forgive? Deserve pa ba namin yon?
I don't trust her most of the time. I honestly don't know how to work on that. I do not know how to settle on this anymore. I just hope, god can help me as I am always on distress.
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