Guilt

 I hope none of you get to feel what I feel right now. Devastated, betrayed and broken. Trying to survive every morning, ignoring the fact that I am not okay. Not even a single hello was there after all the skits and play. All acted like it never happened, all deserves a standing ovation. 

I think it was a good show.

I hope you all know that. 

Guilt, is what I feel everyday prioritizing our friendship. Thinking that these friends would help me fix some of me rather than being stabbed literally behind. 

Guilt is what I feel, thinking I wasn't deserving for someone's love. While you all found refuge in my broken space. 

Was there even any slightest touch of guilt, when you all stabbed me and as as replacement you all showered me with your distress. 

Was there guilt? knowing that you all played safe while I was in pain?

Guilt, was there any guilt in your veins? No none? 

And no matter how much I try to validate my hate for all of you. 

I can't bring back the most important person in my life and I am sad that I prioritized all of you when all you did was stab me.