Forgive Me

I know I don't deserve it
But please find love to forgive me
in your heart
I will work hard for it
I really want to make it right

if you let me?

Please give me another chance
I really hope it is never too late
But at least forgive me
Because I need you in my life.

I could never hate you.

You are my sanity, you make everything okay - she said

Do you know what it feels like
Not being able to breathe?
It didn't cross my mind, until one day

You decided to leave.

I just gotta see you, to feel you
I know your heart became unobtainable
I know, I know it was my fault
I am here now

I watched you go out of that door
Words sliced my throat
It was killing me

I was kneeling, begging
But it didn't slow your pace

I love you
I know you still love me
Please look at me again

You and I failed in a lot of ways
But you loved me too good to ever hate you

It all went blurry.

I was memorizing my lines before I got to the queue. Unfortunately I wasn't able to say what I wanted to say to you, I was prepared, actually, but my heart couldn't speak up because the mind was stronger at that time. I guess I really suck in public speaking. I guess we both know that I am not a pleaser, but more of a charmer. WHAT! Kidding aside. I am more of a letter person. I can express what I feel better in written communication.

I really wanted to say, well hello, you're not a kid anymore. Say goodbye to your teenage days. Dahil 18 ka na! Time flies and I can only imagine the first time I saw you, when you were 13 ish or 14 and I really thought you were 18 back then. I bet you are having a great time in Canada, learning and earning money on your own. And I admire you for that.

I sincerely pray for your happiness. I hope you reach your dreams, I may not be able to witness them anymore, but know that I will be cheering you from afar.

5/11/17

I miss you.

I try not to.

But I can still remember how we first met. It has been 6 years since we broke up. It was a bad ending. I intentionally planned it. Mainly because I want to let you go.  I thought there was no way out but to embrace the bad image. But I know you know, I did not mean to do that.

As people witnessed our love. It was unusual. It was unexpected.

We did a lot of things together, like getting free lunch. With limited allowances we had, we were happy. Happy looking at each others notes, checking out bad grammars and playing pet society - was at a hype back then.

Our relationship was almost perfect until we have hit rock bottom. I know we have different chapters in our life now, we have live separately for more than a year.

But, I really wanna say that I miss you. Rather I miss being your friend.

I know we haven't seen each other, that I want you to know that I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I want you to know that, damn it I miss you. I used to regret what happened. But there are times that I wish to be your friend again, I wanna see you again. Will you be able to look me in the eye?

Although it still bothers me that someone I know so well have become a total stranger to me now. Part of me wants to hold you again. But its over, you're married now.

You and I didn't need any reasons to fall in love. It just happened. We just did. Our similarities was too great, we had a little world of our own.

Until we both changed. I know, this is wrong. But I miss you. I still get to think of you sometimes.
I know, you found a love that all the things ours couldn't be.

I miss you, I try and try not to.

Malungkot

Malungkot ako, pero hindi ko pwede sabihin sayo.
May gusto akong sabihin pero hindi ko masabi dahil pag nagsalita ako ung problema ko nagiging ikaw pag kausap kita. Nadodoble ang sama ng loob ko. Malungkot, wala ka.  Anu na.

Kapagod.

08/10/17