Always writing a story in my HEAD

I did a creative job on practicing my writing skills. Unfortunately I cannot divulge it yet. But this is extremely exciting. Because this is unusual. :) I will be working on this idea for a year and I promise not to tell anyone even my gf.

Anyhow, yes my blog will no longer be a series of emotional blabbers and rants. I am so happy right now and I believe I deserve this kind of love. I am not sure if my gf is reading this, but if you are, I love you! Sorry about this project that I cannot tell yet. Someday youll be able to read it, and you will be the first one to read my story. Our story.

this one is for you.


My Soulmate

I understand why it didn't work out with anybody else
You walked into my life
Like I already know you
You took down my high walls
and lit my soul on fire

Those eyes
Those smile
The way you talk
How you deal with things
You're too perfect for me?

You are my dream come true
I am so blessed that we have finally met
Thank you for blessing me with you
Thank you for dreaming with me - and seeing me in your future

I will spend my life caring, loving & respecting you
Showing you everyday that I hold you as high as the stars
I don't ever want to be without you
You are mine and I am all yours

07-03-2018

Forgive Me

I know I don't deserve it
But please find love to forgive me
in your heart
I will work hard for it
I really want to make it right

if you let me?

Please give me another chance
I really hope it is never too late
But at least forgive me
Because I need you in my life.

I could never hate you.

You are my sanity, you make everything okay - she said

Do you know what it feels like
Not being able to breathe?
It didn't cross my mind, until one day

You decided to leave.

I just gotta see you, to feel you
I know your heart became unobtainable
I know, I know it was my fault
I am here now

I watched you go out of that door
Words sliced my throat
It was killing me

I was kneeling, begging
But it didn't slow your pace

I love you
I know you still love me
Please look at me again

You and I failed in a lot of ways
But you loved me too good to ever hate you

It all went blurry.

I was memorizing my lines before I got to the queue. Unfortunately I wasn't able to say what I wanted to say to you, I was prepared, actually, but my heart couldn't speak up because the mind was stronger at that time. I guess I really suck in public speaking. I guess we both know that I am not a pleaser, but more of a charmer. WHAT! Kidding aside. I am more of a letter person. I can express what I feel better in written communication.

I really wanted to say, well hello, you're not a kid anymore. Say goodbye to your teenage days. Dahil 18 ka na! Time flies and I can only imagine the first time I saw you, when you were 13 ish or 14 and I really thought you were 18 back then. I bet you are having a great time in Canada, learning and earning money on your own. And I admire you for that.

I sincerely pray for your happiness. I hope you reach your dreams, I may not be able to witness them anymore, but know that I will be cheering you from afar.

5/11/17

I miss you.

I try not to.

But I can still remember how we first met. It has been 6 years since we broke up. It was a bad ending. I intentionally planned it. Mainly because I want to let you go.  I thought there was no way out but to embrace the bad image. But I know you know, I did not mean to do that.

As people witnessed our love. It was unusual. It was unexpected.

We did a lot of things together, like getting free lunch. With limited allowances we had, we were happy. Happy looking at each others notes, checking out bad grammars and playing pet society - was at a hype back then.

Our relationship was almost perfect until we have hit rock bottom. I know we have different chapters in our life now, we have live separately for more than a year.

But, I really wanna say that I miss you. Rather I miss being your friend.

I know we haven't seen each other, that I want you to know that I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I want you to know that, damn it I miss you. I used to regret what happened. But there are times that I wish to be your friend again, I wanna see you again. Will you be able to look me in the eye?

Although it still bothers me that someone I know so well have become a total stranger to me now. Part of me wants to hold you again. But its over, you're married now.

You and I didn't need any reasons to fall in love. It just happened. We just did. Our similarities was too great, we had a little world of our own.

Until we both changed. I know, this is wrong. But I miss you. I still get to think of you sometimes.
I know, you found a love that all the things ours couldn't be.

I miss you, I try and try not to.

Malungkot

Malungkot ako, pero hindi ko pwede sabihin sayo.
May gusto akong sabihin pero hindi ko masabi dahil pag nagsalita ako ung problema ko nagiging ikaw pag kausap kita. Nadodoble ang sama ng loob ko. Malungkot, wala ka.  Anu na.

Kapagod.

08/10/17