As a confused 10 year old tomboy

I was grade four and you were fourth year. You told me you like me. I was sitting near the school library reading a history book. I remember being flattered. I do not have a type yet, but you were so annoying. I wasn't eager to have a relationship back then because I was such a kiddo. If my mother knew about what you did, you could've been sued. We were both minor. I remember the awkward glaces along the corridor. You smiled and gave me that annoying laugh. I was infatuated with the idea of love. I knew back then I am not bad looking after all. You treated me like I am the most handsome girl. It felt good. But it went all gone when I didn't see you anymore. 

My Facebook Account

I see straight people turned gay. Gay friends turned straight, ehem married with kids. I saw a colleague who used to copy my homework get a great job. Rich guy turned middle class. Married and not married anymore. Single and still single. A girl who changed her hair color and hair style. A boy who lost all of his pimples and became a cutie. She married a muslim. He became a christian. There's a gold digger... etc. lalala...

I wonder. Do I ever cross someones head? am I blog worthy of your time? Just wondering..

Call me Legendary

*cue in ALICE DEEJAY - Better of Alone

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Dear Everyone

You might have noticed that I do not answer calls anymore. Especially on weekends. I do not text back anymore, I rarely message anyone randomly. In other words I am always MISSING IN ACTION nowadays. Sorry, my dear friends. I have personal reasons not to show up. It's not you, it's me. HAHA *evil grin*

I came into a point were loud crowds, music and alcohol doesn't seem to make me happy anymore. And four is a crowd for me. I'd rather be with a friend watching a movie in silence than go out on a road trip with no plans and getting into trouble. I'd rather watch evening teleseryes with my mother or read books.

I just want silence and understanding. Nobody understands me for now. I am in my most fragile state of staying sane. I am in a stage where real adult life should be taken serious of. I do not feel any younger anymore. I don't know what else to say but please, go on with out me. Let me go. Do not invite me. Just go.

But it would be nice if you can find me at the gym, running my worries away. I am still the same person I was, I am still jolly and I can still pull a joke. Let's just say, I am always hungry and I don't want to share my miseries. Let's just say, I've changed. Things changed. People change. Feelings change.

Sabi ni Britney Spears, Sometimes I run... sometimes I hide. LOL. I am just sappy melodramatic emo machine who can't seem to burst. I will be fine. I just miss the old days were I used to feel like everyday is my birthday. Still fighting the sadness. More patience, Keep praying.

Berting

Someone who can never be YOURS!

Unrequited love from someone you cannot have is such a heart ache! I can remember I was so in love with Aom Sushar Manaying - leading lady in Yes or No 1 and 2. LOL. I was torn between letting my feelings go and hanging on to her - shiyeeet there's no possibility actually. Shuhada.

Advise for someone who want's someone who can never be yours? Okay here goes Berting.

1. My dear friend - Think of this. You will find someone who will give you the happiness you deserve. Alam ko the good ones are always taken, but please hanap ka ng swak na swak saiyo walang sabit. Match ba? Dadating yan. Pray ka pa.

2. If he/she makes you smile constantly - party lang! If things work out then good. Want him/her but leave a space for yourself. Umayus ka.

3. Alam mong hindi talaga at wala siyang sparks sayo. Wag mo saktan sarili mo. Party ka na lang!

4. BAE - move on. The more you resist it the more it persist. Ok let the feelings subside slowly, divert your attention to something else worthwhile, join a dance club do ballroom dancing, join the toastmasters, get a gym membership. Love yourself! Party ulit! Remember life is too short to be unhappy! Party pa more!

5. Wag ipilit ang ayaw. sabi nga ni Elsa "let it GOOO! Let it GOOOO!" Sing using your heart and lungs! Let go and let god!!!!

? Random

I have been thinking about philandering people, why on earth would they cheat on the most beautiful person or the most special person in their lives? Why can't they just be loyal and fix their relationship? 

My sister once said, there are three problems in a relationship. 

One would be love, maybe the other half felt that he/she is giving too much and in this crazy world everything should be reciprocated. I mean who wouldn't want to be loved back? Love is an amazing feeling, we are here in this world to love and be loved. Maybe the partner has hang ups. The other one had an affair. Cause maybe just maybe love isn't really enough? 

Second, money, I honestly hate money. I really think money can make a person change, I have seen a lot of people who changed because of money. With money people think they own everything, that they can buy anything. Money problems could also mean that both of them are into gambling, one of them could have bad spending habits or worst maybe both of them are financially illiterate. 

Third, the in-laws, The in-laws doesn't like you at all! Even you put extra efforts in everything they just want your existence gone. Or maybe the in-laws doesn't know you exist. LOL 

It could be his/her family status, love - his/her father has two or more families, money - his/her family has debt issues, not well off. Third his/her educational background, and lastly religion. I know there are a lot of reasons in the in-laws category, but this is all I can think of. Haha. As a filipino, we are too family oriented. This is one of the best reasons in solving problems in a relationship.  

So given these three points? Do you believe love is based on effort? if one of the three, two of the three or worst all of the three are ticked?

Some say you have to make an effort daily so love wont run dry. Love should be infinite, Love should be unconditional, you love this person because she's like this that etc. Perhaps he/she make you smile? You are married to his/her flaws. But what if one day you realized that you want your coffee a little sweet, and your partner wants a bitter coffee. Then someone walks by and offer you a coffee that is a little sweet? What would you do if your partner loves the color red and you love pink so bad. On the other hand he/she hates pink and someone else walks by and likes the color pink as well? How about trying to like your partner's music, but he/she wont like yours, and someone passes by and likes your type of music and loves your favorite band and would definitely sing for you even if he/she is out of tune? What if things are going on the rocks between you and your partner and someone came and made things easier and lighter for you? 

How can you hate the philandering person if he/she is being judged wrongly? Why would we hate the philandering person immediately without seeing the gray area. So yeah love isn't enough. Cheating is very selfish. Because love is so selfish. We destroy the people we love. It is so unkind to play with someone's feelings. We are so done wishing, hoping and wanting more. We want change cause change is very constant. But to wrap everything, as a human, love should not be measured. Should have no boundaries. So why do we have these problems? pucha baka kasalanan ng teleseryes to. Love love love. Can you not?