:))
FCUK YOU!
9/23/12
9/22/12
heartDATE
My best buddy Des and I went to the dentist last week. Upon entering the clinic, the doctor, our family friend asked me
"Asan yung maganda?"
"Ako? Wow Thanks Doc!" I was completely blank when she was asking. I really thought she was referring to me. So stupid of me.
"No the girl from North Susana"
"Ah wala na kami, gusto ko na ng boy friend." I answered with a half smile.
At the back of my mind, thanks DOC! I haven't thought of her for quite some time and I just want more smiles to come, so please please please have them fixed so I can get a boy friend or something that could make me forget. Spare me from interrogation. Make me smile again.
My mouth was opened for an hour and a half. I smiled. The killer smile is back, I just need to shape up. More boxing class. Try yoga. Try not sleeping for months.
Hundreds of words were at the tip of my tongue. I was driving, I am quite sure my face was turning red, my buddy was beside me. I couldn't hold it anymore. I opened my mouth with some kind of joke at first and then AGAIN I burst into tears. Wow July so much for being strong. I said I wasn't thinking about her anymore, until Doc asked about her and then I realized she is irreplaceable.
My voice was cracking, "Irreplaceable, I know it time the word irreplaceable will be replaceable. Soon. I know what to do"
My buddy got no choice but to listen. I know she's holding things to make it easier for me. It was obvious that she doesn't want me to be over emotional. She is the only friend left that I can confide without any hesitation ever since ex left me. And sometimes, I over think that she will eventually run dry and get tired of listening to me, so I try to manage my tears, fears and rants. She can't be my toilet, my outlet always.
I got scared to be over attached to anyone, I am in the wont-let-anyone-hurt-me stage. I am at the love my self process. I must be selfish.
I am sorry for all the trouble I gave you my buddy. But I am happy that you found "gorgeous", that way I wont be worried when I leave. Sorry for being pushy, cause just like a father I want the best for my son.
So there you are. Wild and free. Happy as a bee. One things for sure she deserves that slap.
"Asan yung maganda?"
"Ako? Wow Thanks Doc!" I was completely blank when she was asking. I really thought she was referring to me. So stupid of me.
"No the girl from North Susana"
"Ah wala na kami, gusto ko na ng boy friend." I answered with a half smile.
At the back of my mind, thanks DOC! I haven't thought of her for quite some time and I just want more smiles to come, so please please please have them fixed so I can get a boy friend or something that could make me forget. Spare me from interrogation. Make me smile again.
My mouth was opened for an hour and a half. I smiled. The killer smile is back, I just need to shape up. More boxing class. Try yoga. Try not sleeping for months.
Hundreds of words were at the tip of my tongue. I was driving, I am quite sure my face was turning red, my buddy was beside me. I couldn't hold it anymore. I opened my mouth with some kind of joke at first and then AGAIN I burst into tears. Wow July so much for being strong. I said I wasn't thinking about her anymore, until Doc asked about her and then I realized she is irreplaceable.
My voice was cracking, "Irreplaceable, I know it time the word irreplaceable will be replaceable. Soon. I know what to do"
My buddy got no choice but to listen. I know she's holding things to make it easier for me. It was obvious that she doesn't want me to be over emotional. She is the only friend left that I can confide without any hesitation ever since ex left me. And sometimes, I over think that she will eventually run dry and get tired of listening to me, so I try to manage my tears, fears and rants. She can't be my toilet, my outlet always.
I got scared to be over attached to anyone, I am in the wont-let-anyone-hurt-me stage. I am at the love my self process. I must be selfish.
I am sorry for all the trouble I gave you my buddy. But I am happy that you found "gorgeous", that way I wont be worried when I leave. Sorry for being pushy, cause just like a father I want the best for my son.
So there you are. Wild and free. Happy as a bee. One things for sure she deserves that slap.
9/19/12
My Top 10 SEXY TIME SONGS
1. NICE AND SLOW - USHER
2. DO IT TO ME - USHER
3. BED - J.HOLIDAY
4. PDA - JOHN LEGEND
5. TONIGHT - JOHN LEGEND
6. RENDEZVOUS - CRAIG DAVID
7. BIRTHDAY SEX - JEREMIH
8. NOBODY - KEITH SWEAT ft ATHENA CAGE
9. SO ANXIOUS - GINUWINE
10. WHEN YOU'RE MAD - NEYO
2. DO IT TO ME - USHER
3. BED - J.HOLIDAY
4. PDA - JOHN LEGEND
5. TONIGHT - JOHN LEGEND
6. RENDEZVOUS - CRAIG DAVID
7. BIRTHDAY SEX - JEREMIH
8. NOBODY - KEITH SWEAT ft ATHENA CAGE
9. SO ANXIOUS - GINUWINE
10. WHEN YOU'RE MAD - NEYO
My TOP 20 Break Up Songs Ever Since My First Heartbreak
1. HINDI NA - THE COMPANY
2. I'LL NEVER GET OVER YOU, GETTING OVER ME - MYMP Ver.
3. BURN - USHER
4. REHAB - RIHANNA ft. JT
5. TURN BACK TIME - AQUA
6. SOMEONE LIKE YOU - ADELE
7. THE SCIENTIST - COLD PLAY
8. ONLY REMINDS ME OF YOU - MYPM VER.
9. IF YOU LEAVE ME NOW - CHICAGO
10. I THINK GOD CAN EXPLAIN - SPLENDER
11. I'LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN - TAIO CRUZ
12. HANGGANG NGAYON - KYLA
13. ONE OF THESE DAYS - MICHELLE BRANCH
14. SAY GOODBYE - CHRIS BROWN
15. BACK INTO YOU - AMBER DAVIS
16. WAIT FOR YOU - ELIOT YAMIN
17. OVER IT - KATHERINE MCPHEE
18. HELP ME - USHER
19. FOOL AGAIN -WESTLIFE
20. NOT IN LOVE -A1
Beyoncé - Best Thing I Never Had
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)
There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good lookin' out
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm gon' always be the best thing you never had
I bet it SUCKS to be you right now
So sad, you're hurt
Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care?
You don't deserve my tears
I guess that's why they ain't there
When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you
Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
Baby good lookin' out
I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
I said, you turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'll never be the best thing you never had
Oh baby I bet SUCKS to be you right now
I know you want me back
It's time to face the facts
That I'm the one that's got away
Lord knows that it would take another place, another time, another world, another life
Thank God I found the good in goodbye
I used to want you so bad
I'm so through it that
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I will always be the, best thing you never had.
Best thing you never had!
I used to want you so bad
I'm so through it that
Cause honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
Oh you turned out to be the best thing I never had
Oh I will never be the best thing you never had
Oh baby, I bet it SUCKS to be you right now
Goes around, comes back around
Goes around, comes back around
Bet it SUCKS to be you right now
Goes around, comes back around
Bet it SUCKS to be you right now
Goes around, comes back around
Bet it sucks to be you right now
-----
SUCKS TO BE YOOUUUU RIGHT NOWW!!
9/9/12
I STILL love you GRIMACE.
Inggit lang kayo! kasi SUPER CUTE NI GRIMACE! He is a big, loving, cute fuzzy purple fellow... and there's no use or need to scrutinize his origin! don't care if he's barney's bro, of tinky winkees ren. basta!
I love u grimace :)) your mine! MINE!
Grimace. Grimace is an anthropomorphic purple being. Initially, Grimace was the "Evil Grimace", with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes. After that first campaign, the character was revised to be one of the "good guys", and his number of arms was reduced by two. Commercials and merchandise generally portrayed him as a well-meaning simpleton, whose clumsy antics provided a comic foil to Ronald McDonald. The character was retained after the streamlining of the characters in the '80s. He was voiced by Frank Welker.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grimace_(character)#Characters
"Grimace loves all McDonald’s foods, he’s absolutely
crazy about milkshakes. Grimace is very enthusiastic and eager to try new
things. His joyous spirit helps everyone overlook the fact he’s a little
slow and clumsy sometimes."
di namn ako obsessed*****
julyveranga.multiply.com
I'd Rather.
Fool me once, go ahead, try me.
Fool me twice, please stop. Look at me.
For the third time, bullshit, I can't trust you anymore.
I can't calm down, this is so unbelievable. I am eaten by reality that I am having a hard time to move on. Time is all I need. It is obvious that I know what to do, but my heart refuses to accept. I am filled with pain, I don't know when, where and how to move forward anymore.
I guess, everyone is happy now. He is happy to have you. She will have all the time with you, and he will never be mad at you. They won't suspect anymore. I can't help but pity myself, how less human I am for you to leave me that way.
I remember telling you "Don't let the sun go down, when we are mad at each other". But you left me and let the sun go down.
It saddens me how friends forget us when they don't need any more favors. It saddens me how people can shrug you off like a piece of trash, like everything you did was erased for one thing you did wrong.
Lately, I've been thinking, I'd rather be alone. I'd rather not let anyone hurt me anymore. I am determined to be better. I am determined to be stronger. I am still the same person who figures everything out even before you inform me - I am still smart. I am alive.
And it sucks cause still love you, I'd be lying if I said I don't think about you anymore. I should be dating, but my heart finds you irreplaceable. Youre on the right side now and I am still on the left side hoping most of the time.
One day, I will forget you and won't even think about you. I also wish to find another you. Someone so like you and afraid to lose me.
Fool me twice, please stop. Look at me.
For the third time, bullshit, I can't trust you anymore.
I can't calm down, this is so unbelievable. I am eaten by reality that I am having a hard time to move on. Time is all I need. It is obvious that I know what to do, but my heart refuses to accept. I am filled with pain, I don't know when, where and how to move forward anymore.
I guess, everyone is happy now. He is happy to have you. She will have all the time with you, and he will never be mad at you. They won't suspect anymore. I can't help but pity myself, how less human I am for you to leave me that way.
I remember telling you "Don't let the sun go down, when we are mad at each other". But you left me and let the sun go down.
It saddens me how friends forget us when they don't need any more favors. It saddens me how people can shrug you off like a piece of trash, like everything you did was erased for one thing you did wrong.
Lately, I've been thinking, I'd rather be alone. I'd rather not let anyone hurt me anymore. I am determined to be better. I am determined to be stronger. I am still the same person who figures everything out even before you inform me - I am still smart. I am alive.
And it sucks cause still love you, I'd be lying if I said I don't think about you anymore. I should be dating, but my heart finds you irreplaceable. Youre on the right side now and I am still on the left side hoping most of the time.
One day, I will forget you and won't even think about you. I also wish to find another you. Someone so like you and afraid to lose me.
She kissed me. XD
It was a sunny Friday afternoon, I was on a first communion rehearsal. I think I was 8 or 9 back then. Uso pa bangs nun. There were 3 girls, sitting near the entrance of the church, I can't remember their names, but the girl who made me realize that I am gay was a certain Marvelyn.
Marvelyn: "Hellooo! Anung pangalan mo?"
Me: "Julybeth"
Girl 3: "San school ka?"
Me: "Wesleyan Academy."
Girl 2: "Ikaw lang naiibang school samin!"
Me: "Oo nga e kasi ung school ko pang protestant. Makikisabay lang ako. hehe."
Marvelyn: "upo ka dito, wala pa si father."
Her smiling eyes was very captivating, She looks very Filipina. She carries her self very well. And ehem she was already wearing pearls back then! :)) I don't know what happened the following days but I remember receiving lots of kisses on my cheeks. It felt weird.
Marvelyn, you made my first communion a realization of my true identity. Wherever you are, If you can remember me, well hello, its been a long long long time.
You were the first girl who taught me how to create a bra using a handkerchief. :)) WTF.
I loved your voice. I loved your niceness. Hope to bump into you someday. Who knows.
Marvelyn: "Hellooo! Anung pangalan mo?"
Me: "Julybeth"
Girl 3: "San school ka?"
Me: "Wesleyan Academy."
Girl 2: "Ikaw lang naiibang school samin!"
Me: "Oo nga e kasi ung school ko pang protestant. Makikisabay lang ako. hehe."
Marvelyn: "upo ka dito, wala pa si father."
Her smiling eyes was very captivating, She looks very Filipina. She carries her self very well. And ehem she was already wearing pearls back then! :)) I don't know what happened the following days but I remember receiving lots of kisses on my cheeks. It felt weird.
Marvelyn, you made my first communion a realization of my true identity. Wherever you are, If you can remember me, well hello, its been a long long long time.
You were the first girl who taught me how to create a bra using a handkerchief. :)) WTF.
I loved your voice. I loved your niceness. Hope to bump into you someday. Who knows.
9/2/12
I Am Not The One, I Am Not Your JUL Anymore.
You're My You - Nyoy Volante
You're My Jul
Every Romeo has a Julybeth
Wishful thinkers have their stars
Hopeless romantics each have a love song
Played on their guitars
REFRAIN
But you, you're everything
This foolish heart could ever define
Every wish, every dream, every prayer come true
I feel so blessed to call you mine
CHORUS
You're my JUL, even more
No one else I'll adore
You're my JUL, in my mind
Simply one of a kind
You're the one who never fails to brighten my day
My princess in every fairytale
You're my mornin' 'til night
Such a beautiful sight
You're my JUL
Your eyes, your lips
The touch of your fingertips
Promise me you'll never take them away
For as long as I exist
[Repeat REFRAIN]
Hay
[Repeat CHORUS]
AD LIB
CHORUS
You're my JUL, even more
No one else I'll adore
You're my JUL, in my mind
Simply one of a kind
You're the one who never fails to brighten my day
My princess in every fairytale
You're my mornin' 'til night
Such a beautiful sight
You're the heat of the fire in a cold winter's night
You're a raindrop in July, you're the sun
You're the one, you're my JUL
-----
You used to sing this to me. It took you months for you to sing this song, kasi nahihiya ka pa sakin nun. I bet you sang this song, on your last birthday, with him, he must be really something.
The worst part of waking up in the morning. was to see the flowers he gave you.
I tried not to feel a thing, I wanted to make a scene, my head was throbbing again, what a painful morning you gave me my love, that was the morning that a realized I am not the one. I am not your JUL anymore.
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