.....

My phone was ringing ridiculously. An unknown number with 9 miscalls. I decided to answer the call. A familiar voice, its been so long since I heard that voice. I knew I was longing for that voice a few years ago. She started crying. Words are clearly at the top of my lungs, no air was going out of my mouth and I was trying to get hold of myself and not cry. It might be weird, but what if your old flame calls and said. 

Do you still love me?

Prayer for tonight.

*calm down and pray for guidance. be humble. you can do this.* 

Paano Ba 'To?

Bought this book when I was in Manila for 9 days. My colleague told me that it is a good book, that people my age should read this before you hit 30s. Well to me, not really, but I recommend this book for the younger generations. Honestly this book made me feel like I was really talking to people who shared their life stories. Like it was more of growing up from different ages. This book came to me at the right timing in my life, where I am actually questioning my existence and potentials.

This unique book of experiences was written in Tag-Lish(tagalog and english) by Bianca Gonzales. I didn't notice or read any lgbt focused issue, but if you were to adapt some general lessons and issues especially in the love side, it could be a complete perfect guide for me to survive growing up. I like how the book is written, there were plus stories from other celebrities like Toni Gonzaga, Anne Curtis, Luis Manzano, etc. It is a guide to survival, from family, love, friends, business, life, money - I wish Bianca could have write this book sooner!

The book layout and pages are awesome. I super love the unicorn sticker. :)

My advise when you read this is to take time to reflect and think of the lessons learned - list the what - not to dos. Very helpful indeed. Overall, this book offers good and sound advices! I really hope I will remember all these advices and be able to apply them in my life. 

Perfect timing.  

My own version of JUST A FEELING

My heart frowns as my head says I need you so bad. 

Loving you gives me a weird cringe. 

A questionable cringe my head refuses to internalize.

I love you. yes I do. 

Oh yes.

Do You Remember

It was a rainy last night

Missing you is never ending
I took you by the handand lead the way

I saw our future by 
looking in your eyes
We'll be safe and 
I will take you away 
from all harm
I will lead you to my place
where I will relieve your pain

The sound of the raindrops 
fall as we touch lips
skin to skin running down our bodies
I caress you and your hand was 
gliding through my hair
I pause to catch the essence of innocence
So sensual and passionate 
we were sharing on my bed

The only thing that can come 
between us is the drops of rain
Intimacy being shared under the raindrops  
We do this as if we have no shame 
I miss you and only you

Random, how to end 2014

Today I realized I am starting fall in love with this City. Dubai, this city welcomed me in my worst state and now I consider myself rising. Like Burj Khalifa! :D

Dubai, has emerged from a deserted place into a global city and a business hub of the persian gulf region. When I was a kid, I thought DUBAI was a country. Well it is a part of UAE and it is not the capital. When I went here my objective was plain simple. That was to move on and be better. I have experience a lot here during my first year of stay. And finally, I think I am in the track for be better.

If only I could take back 4 years ago. I wish I could've chosen a career here, and started from step one. If I did, I wouldn't be insecure for starting all over here for a career. Now that I feel like I am not getting any younger, I aim for better career in few years time. I also see myself grow in this City and I am starting to plan for a life with this city for me and my partner. And I am totally pressuring myself to get her up here and start a new with me. I have been thinking of what to dos and plans. I hope I could set such milestones. I gotta be better. Help me GOD.

Oh and it has been a while Berts. Sorry I haven't updated you. I think my vocabulary is getting zero now. Doncha worry. I am always writing a story in my head.

tick tock 

Something to look forward to

2014 is almost over and I want to make the best of the last days of the year. My goal for 2014 was 99% ticked. But I am happy with all of the things happened and will bound to happen. That one percent is still at the back of my mind and nobody knows it but me. Cause I am my own enemy. And even though I closed my night with a sad feeling. I still chose to be happy by doing this blog entry.

I would like to improve myself more on my financial stability. I wasted a lot of money during 2012, it was clearly my downfall and I'd like to think it was meant for me to happen so that I could improve and learn about money. But the thing here is I hate money. It ruins everything. But anyways, I want to save as much as I can to be able to do what I want. 

Second, I would like to lose weight. This isn't for the people around. This is for myself, to live longer and to be able to perform goal number 1. Plus health is wealth!

Third, I should be investing on insurance or a condo. I should be able to have my own property. This is a pressure for me. I should own one!

Fourth, I should be able to get my UAE drivers license. I have saved enough for driving schools. I used to think that I shouldn't get one but I think If I need to upgrade on my status here, I need to get one. So maybe after a year or two I could go back on the sales or marketing field and aim for EMIRATES :) Claiming it.

Fifth, make more cakes and earn more. I should be able to make a feasibility study about our cakes and at the same time update the current prices from time to time. I would like to own a shop here. Please lord, guide me in this journey as a business person. I can make this work for the ntn time. One step at a time.

Sixth, be happy and contented in life. It is okay to reward yourself sometimes. It is okay sometimes to reap what you sow.

Seventh, MYMP. Learn Arabic and be fluent in it. I should start looking for Arabic classes. This would help me in my work.

Eight, I honestly couldn't think of anything more. I just want to be happy and have a sense of direction when I wake up in the morning. I will have this entry to be continued. :)