LOreal.

I having a hard time, everyday, covering and licking my wounds, convincing myself that I am over the injustices that happened to me this year. I hate flashbacks of what ifs and what now. I am doing my best to ignore it, but I still end up blaming myself, and still living in doubt, continuously questioning myself was it all worth it??

To be honest, I am tired of being the bigger person. I am trying my best to mend bridges, choosing forgiveness and let go of the things that I can't handle. But now that I have nothing to prove. This is my conscience speaking, writing, that my reputation chooses kindness. I am choosing kindness because this is right, I refuse to be victim. Because wala akong ginagawang masama. Tagalog yan para magets agad. 

But no, I wan't to be different, I want to punch the hell out of someone or anyone and this is not me. My soul is mad. I am completely losing my mind. It all boils down to..............

Why does everyone I care for, never fails to disappoint me? when all I do is love them? Is it too much love or is was never enough? Is it because I am a practical choice? BTW I am fed up with the world "Practical". I hate it so much right now. 

The hardest thing of moving forward in this dilemma is to continuously choose kindness. To smile and pretend you do not know anything about any confrontation. To resist shouting and ignore judgement. To respond with positive comments instead of a mean jab and I end up praying.