It is not about losing.

I can only think about the major differences that we have, It may seem like we are always in a whirl wind romance all the time, but tell you what, we have fought so hard these past few days. And I would say, we almost lost it and we might lose it, I guess we have reached comfortable zone. This is were I am bad at.

Woke up with a headache, mainly because I had trouble sleeping. Her words haunting me, as I demanded for an apology, she said she would not give. Eventually, maybe. My mind set has been programmed to accept that she has her own reasons to validate the bad words she let her mouth when she was mad. And to be able to function properly, I pretended she said sorry, by staring at her. I needed to think that way, I am not a masochist, being the emotional and sensitive me, I needed to move on from that big fight. I just need to let it go and shake it off.

I have stripped the sticky notes on the walls of our room. I was giving up on her that time. It got me thinking that I could just be again the best tita and daughter our family could ever had. I was also thinking and hoping she would ask or initiate putting it back together, but to date, she doesn't seem to care about it, maybe expectations really spoils every relationship. But isn't it normal to expect from your partner?

We clearly have issues coming in and out, but we are still together. I am doing my best to compromise, even though she keeps telling me that I keep on doing what hurts her. That clearly I don't get to see her grudges. To be honest, I dont know.

What does that mean?

I guess in every relationship, doubts can come in between. It is so hard to sacrifice things for someone so dear to you just to keep a relationship. But clearly, compromise isn't about losing, it is deciding that this person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do. No relationship is perfect, I am a perfectionist, she maybe not. There are ways to bend, we will always find ways to work out, because at the end of the day, it is better to bend than to break a relationship.

We find ways. I will find a way. I will not regret this post. She will be my wife.

I love her.

Materialism Day

To be materialistic.

A few years back, back when I was HS, and nokia phones were the trend. I friend asked me, what is the model of your phone? why this phone? responded by saying.

“Why not, it still runs, I can txt and call. why not?"

During that time phones without antennas are cool as aff. My friend’s face suddenly went into a full a*&@^!* mode.

My friend purchased her phone I guess mainly for the gain of her status symbol. Technically her dad bought it pala that time. To her, the model of your phone and if it had a camera is meant to signify its owners’ high social and economic standing. Gee fine yours doesnt have an antenna.

For me, during that time my phone is an object to connect me from my dad who picks me up at school. My 5310 rocks!

I inherited that phone from my sistah.

See, I have nothing against people buying and purchasing handbags, shoes, cars, Rolex, and iPhones.

After all, people have every right to use their hard earned money. Parent's ehem.

But sometimes, it is too much. Lalo na ung mga kabayan dito. I once read in Atty Barney's book - Andito ka sa ibang bansa para mag ipon hindi mag iphone.

People are so hooked up with material things, working long hours to attain that, and still end up being miserable. I still own an s7 edge phone, the new model now is s10. I am 3 models away and I dont care because my phone is still working.

What people don’t know is that Materialism is a system that eats people from the inside out.These people define their value in terms of the objects that they own. They get stuck in a never-ending comparison. They crave external appreciation and wait to be noticed by others.

I face people from different walks of life, and believe me, I can sense those people who are “Materialistic” a mile away. One more thing, do not spend more than what you earn.

It’s a shame to see people living that way. Some of them are close friends and relatives of mine.

Point is. if you find yourself reading this entry. If you can afford it. Why not. Edi wow.