Woke up with a headache, mainly because I had trouble sleeping. Her words haunting me, as I demanded for an apology, she said she would not give. Eventually, maybe. My mind set has been programmed to accept that she has her own reasons to validate the bad words she let her mouth when she was mad. And to be able to function properly, I pretended she said sorry, by staring at her. I needed to think that way, I am not a masochist, being the emotional and sensitive me, I needed to move on from that big fight. I just need to let it go and shake it off.
I have stripped the sticky notes on the walls of our room. I was giving up on her that time. It got me thinking that I could just be again the best tita and daughter our family could ever had. I was also thinking and hoping she would ask or initiate putting it back together, but to date, she doesn't seem to care about it, maybe expectations really spoils every relationship. But isn't it normal to expect from your partner?
We clearly have issues coming in and out, but we are still together. I am doing my best to compromise, even though she keeps telling me that I keep on doing what hurts her. That clearly I don't get to see her grudges. To be honest, I dont know.
What does that mean?
I guess in every relationship, doubts can come in between. It is so hard to sacrifice things for someone so dear to you just to keep a relationship. But clearly, compromise isn't about losing, it is deciding that this person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do. No relationship is perfect, I am a perfectionist, she maybe not. There are ways to bend, we will always find ways to work out, because at the end of the day, it is better to bend than to break a relationship.
We find ways. I will find a way. I will not regret this post. She will be my wife.
I love her.