Lately I have been

I can't wait to have my top surgery, I have always wanted them removed. I really want them removed before I reach 30s. I can no longer carry the stress of people attacking my body. Attacking my hatest part of my body. I can't stare at myself sometimes in the mirror seeing my breasts makes me lose my cool. I am disgusted how they grew bigger. I did my best to lose more weight, but this will never ever shrink until I have surgery. I will have them removed. No inshalas. I WILL! And I will be the happiest unicorn ever lived.

BOW. 

hit me baby one more tiiime, my lonelinessss is killing meee... lalala..

Great, it is 12:45am now in UAE. I really can't sleep because I drank ice cold coffee for dinner. House blend coffee made by yours truly, Berting. I am contemplating at the moment whether to drink one glass of JD Coke to surpass this loneliness that I feel.

This could also make me sleep in no time. Yes, I love this drink. Friggin people on 20th floor consistently make their bed bunks noisy in the evening and morning, I do not want to understand the noise they create.

I feel lonely. 

Maybe because I don't have anyone to talk to. I do not have someone to share how was my day. I feel needy, craving for somebody's attention and appreciation. I want someone to please me sometimes, to revere me. To look at me as if I am the most amazing creature god has created. Haha. It may sound like a desperate call.  But is it too much to ask somebody to put nothing above me, just for a night/day? 

But I just really want somebody now, now and now. I do not want any problems of the world now. Just please make the world stop spinning. 

So, Jack accompanies me now, Jack made me write this entry. Jack makes me happy for no reason. My vision is quite blurryy now. Jack makes me cry sometimes,,, Jack makes me forget and expect from people. Jack why can't you just marry me. LOL. 

Gawd I have become straight. Not. I hate you Jack. I am gay, like Marvin Gaye. Gay as in happy. Blech. 

Pansin plez.