My Concealer

Pouch bag, small, a pair was given to me. "Wear this when my parents are around". She said in her most serious state. I made fun of it and said why do I have to wear it in front of them? Why? She said you look like a girl when you wear them.

"So when can you start?" he asked me. I was wearing pearls with no make up. I felt happy cause I got the job. I felt sad because I have to cover up everytime I get an interview. The corporate world seems to conceal my identity, as always. HIRED. Day one. As I enter the elevator I immediately wear my pearls, this is showtime. I tend to look and act like a lady for 8 straight hours. After 8 straight hours. I remove them as I walk to the trains.

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My Concealer

Conceal me day to day
It is better this way
I don't let them see the real me 
I honestly don't want them on me

But I have to, why do I have to
Do I really have to?
Cause I can't let them know
I can't let you know
The real me behind these pearls

Call it acting
Award me as the best actress
I don't intent to fool around
Maybe I am just scared
That you will look at me in disgust
That they will look at me in disgust

In this land where like me is a taboo
Don't even guess who am I
Just look at the pearls
aren't they beautiful?



 

LDR Update

I am in a long distance relationship.  Like, Dubai to Manila long distance. "May gf ka na?" so I answered yes. Asan na siya? 

The situation is very easy, we talk a lot in skype. We exchange text messages. We talk a lot. But as we all know not everyone is on the same boat, there will always be a con from the "unwanted conversation". I feel a sudden discomfort when I encounter such people who either doesn't believe me of being loyal or the idea of long distance at all. Many people tried to destroy this kind of relationship - been there done that! never worked. good luck! Tol ang hirap niyan.

I know. I experience deep sadness sometimes, thinking of what ifs.I know these guys only care about the physical stimulation. But sometimes I wish they could just shut their mouths and be happy for me. I deserve to be happy. So this explains why I became distant to some of my friends. I just don't want to get hurt analyzing the truth. The truth about this kind of relationship.

I'll just stabilize. Relax and dgaf.

DGAF.

Unicorn Drink

If I could also save time in a bottle

I wish she was here
I'd save every drop
Just to be with her

But all I have is this
bottle of emptiness and despair
helping me Imagine the horizon with her
calm my veins as I swallow this sweet taste
make me eat my pride and cry for being silent

I swear I will make her happy
I hear myself scream
So this drink leads me to her?
then this is such a happy bliss - a happy unicorn drink
frolicking on the floor
tears started falling, I am so sorry.

I need me. You need me.
I need you. You need me.
Me me me me me me.